April 30th

One year ago today, Ian came back home after seven months in the hospital. I can't believe we all ever made it through those seven months. I also can't believe that we're still where we are. Ian has made progress, but I know that I was thinking being home would wake him up in no time.

From one of Mark's latest songs that I listen to every time I get in my car now. and I'm trying desperately to believe this in my heart:

Oh let Your will be done in me

In Your love I will abide

Oh I long for nothing else as long

As You are glorified

Are You good only when I prosper

And true only when I’m filled

Are You King only when I’m carefree

And God only when I’m well

You are good when I’m poor and needy

You are true when I’m parched and dry

You still reign in the deepest valley

You’re still God in the darkest night

Thank you for praying. And thanks Mark for another great song.

Larissa

Baseball

"I surrender to the pilgrimage you have ordained for me, including the hardships."

Raymond Ortlund, Jr.

I read this prayer not long ago, and I have to be honest. I struggled with it. God is sovereign, and he has ordained these hardships for our family, for Ian and for Larissa. But, I must travel this pilgrimage willingly, and somehow I have to daily accept that paradox. It's my attitude that must adjust to the reality of God's choice for me and for my family. Help me, Lord...

Tonight, laying on his therapy table Ian held a baseball and made the motion of throwing it. He let go, the ball landed on the table, and he moved his hand around on the table to find it again. With help, he picked it up again and repeated it a few times. Once, he held the ball and moved it in his hand to feel the seams.

Keep praying for Ian...

Steve

loss for words again

Once again, I've let a few days go by without posting anything new. and, once again, I don't feel like there is much that I can or want to say. In fact, I've drifted to sleep several times since writing that last sentence.

This has been a good week for Ian, I guess. He's feeling much much better. He has had some great therapy sessions this week which is encouraging for everyone working with him at the hospital. We spent every day this week out on the patio enjoying the nice weather.

Recently I was thinking of how nice it would be to learn about God's mercy and character in an unpainful way. It seems that every lesson that I learn is the result of a really painful, grevious situation. I'm not sure why God chooses to do that. I'm sure that it is sanctifying Ian and I more to learn about him these hard ways. But it sure would be nice to have a clear picture of God's love for us, instead of having to constantly be asking for the holy spirit to help us to know that this is love, even if it doesn't feel like it. I know my most clear picture of God's love for me is at the cross, but I want an example of that from God in this trial. I want him to bring relief for us and to show us his love clearly and simply.

laris

Pinch tag

A couple nights ago, Bill called me in to look at something Ian was doing. Bill would touch part of Ian's hand or wrist and tell him to grab his hand. Ian would move his hand to try to grab and pinch Bill's hand between his own fingers. When Ian succeeded or got close, Bill would move his hand to a different place touching Ian's hand as he moved it. They played that game of pinch tag for a while. Something's going on inside Ian.

Steve

   "...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need: I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

-Philippians 4:11-13

Birthday photos

At the end of the day today, Ian said that he had a nice birthay. We had a party and then just hung out on the patio. And just as a disclaimer: as soon as Lydia saw the sombrero in the store she wanted it to be Ian's birthday hat. You should've heard her happy squeal when Ian agreed to wear it. He must really love her...

Ian did really well in therapy today. He was tapping his foot for the therapist to push a Taboo buzzer and also doing the same with his hand.

One last happy 23rd wish, Ian.

Happy 23rd Birthday, Ian!

Praying that you will be surprised by God's kindness today, Ian.

Therapy, Birthday, and Free Access

"For it was indeed fitting that we should have such a high priest, holy, innocent, unstained, separated from sinners, and exalted above the heavens. He has no need, like those high priests, to offer sacrifices daily, first for his own sins then for those of the people, since he did this once for all when he offered up himself." (Hebrews 7:26-27)

Because Jesus offered up himself, we have permanent and perfect access to God. Jesus took on the wrath of God so that we could pray. He went through a lot so that we could come to God at any time. That makes me want to take full advantage of prayer!

Ian seems to be back to his old self again (for the last week or so, he hasn't seemed to feel very well). Pray that the therapists would see regular progress at therapy. 

Also, Ian's 23rd birthday is tomorrow, so pray that he would receive encouragement for a birthday gift. 

Thanks,

  -Ben

Jesus is Praying

"The former priests were...prevented by death from continuing in office, but he [Jesus] holds his priesthood permanently...consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them." (Hebrews 7:24-25)

 It's good to know that Jesus is praying for Ian harder than any of us are. 

Right now, our perfect mediator is intercessing before his Father on Ian's behalf. I know Ian is continuing his lifetime practice of drawing near to God through Jesus, so that means that Jesus always lives to make intercession, or prayer, for Ian. 

So if Jesus is praying for him, we know that Ian must be benefiting from this. So let's keep praying for Ian along with our Savior!

-Ben

Unlimited Mercy is Available

“What we all desperately need to see is that the love of a holy God is manifested covenantally at the cross. In the sacrifice of the Lamb of God, the Father promises to receive contrite sinners on a daily - no, hourly - basis. The cross says, ‘No matter what your sins, unlimited mercy is available to those who turn to God through Jesus’ merits.’

Having satisfied the demands of His own holy law, the Father must open His mighty arms and embrace every returning son. And he must do it every day. He has promised to do it (Luke 15:11-32, 1 John 1:8-10), and God cannot lie (Heb 6:13-20).”

- John Miller, Repentance and the 21st Century Man

What will happen tomorrow?

I don't understand how someone gets through an experience like this who isn't assured by Scripture that a caring, all-powerful God is ruling over all things. I don't understand how someone can just be optimistic without the bedrock promises from Scripture of God's favor. I have my questions and my struggles with why this happened. I wonder often what will happen tomorrow with Ian. What does someone in similar circumstances do who has no confidence of God's favor in their lives? If I looked only at our circumstances, I would be convinced we had lost favor with God and that nothing good would come of all this. But, I have to hide in the caves of Scripture's promises when each new wave in the storm of questions and grief batter me. How would anyone survive otherwise?

Steve

Sorry for the lack of posts over the past few weeks. Thank you for bearing with us, those of you that still are. Lately there haven't been words for me to write or really say. I'm still processing this all and taking it one day at a time. I still have no idea why this has happened to Ian or why he hasn't been healed yet. I'm not sure why Ian and I must sit by and watch as everyone else's lives move on. Someday, I trust, God will give us those answers and he will reveal his purpose to us. Until then, we're living on blind faith and just the right amount of grace that he gives us for each day.

As always, thank you.

Larissa

Ian seems to be feeling better. He hasn't returned to therapy yet, but he's back to himself. We spent most of the day outside in the nice weather.

Thank you always for praying

Lungs

Ian does have something wrong with one of his lungs. I don't know the medical name for it, but basically it's not inflating fully. He's going to start daily breathing treatments at the house. It is reversible with the right treatments. I'm just thankful that we know what's going on.

Thank you always for praying. Please consider joining us in fasting for Ian tomorrow.

Larissa