Apr 26, 2008

loss for words again

Once again, I've let a few days go by without posting anything new. and, once again, I don't feel like there is much that I can or want to say. In fact, I've drifted to sleep several times since writing that last sentence.

This has been a good week for Ian, I guess. He's feeling much much better. He has had some great therapy sessions this week which is encouraging for everyone working with him at the hospital. We spent every day this week out on the patio enjoying the nice weather.
Recently I was thinking of how nice it would be to learn about God's mercy and character in an unpainful way. It seems that every lesson that I learn is the result of a really painful, grevious situation. I'm not sure why God chooses to do that. I'm sure that it is sanctifying Ian and I more to learn about him these hard ways. But it sure would be nice to have a clear picture of God's love for us, instead of having to constantly be asking for the holy spirit to help us to know that this is love, even if it doesn't feel like it. I know my most clear picture of God's love for me is at the cross, but I want an example of that from God in this trial. I want him to bring relief for us and to show us his love clearly and simply.



Anonymous said...

i want that for you two with all my heart. gigi

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for YOU, Larissa...
Your sister in Christ, Olivia

Marshall said...

I am praying for you and Ian both to experience the closeness of God, and for Ian to communicate more clearly.

Thanks for posting the pictures. They motivate me to keep praying.

Carol said...

My heart breaks, on an almost daily basis, for you, for Ian, for his family, and for everyone involved in this situation. How strong you have been, and how very patient. Your faith, your trust, and your desire to please God have strengthened and encouraged me and many, many, many others.

I'm praying Ephesians 3:16-19 for you.
I pray that out of His glorious riches
He may strengthen you
with power
through his Spirit
in your inner being,
so that Christ
may dwell in your hearts
through faith.
And I pray that you,
being rooted
and established in love,
may have power,
together with all the saints,
to grasp
how wide
and long
and high and deep
is the love of Christ,
and to know this love
that surpasses knowledge—
that you may be filled
to the measure
of all
the fullness
of God.

May the Lord bless you richly today. May you feel His presence and His love in new and amazing ways, dear sister!

A sister in Colorado

Anonymous said...

Father God, please hold my dear brother and sister in Christ. Refresh them a new in your love and mercy and may you lead them beside the quiet waters to restore and heal, through this seemingly oh so long trial. Please meet their physical as well as emotional and spirital need for healing. Hold them close and strengthen them in Your Peace. Great and Holy Father I thank You that You always hear and answer our prayers as pray this through the precious blood of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen!

Keeping you by my side in prayer.

Nora :) said...

What a precious picture. Thank you for sharing it. I will keep praying for you both.

Anonymous said...

I was working on the favor cards today for the wedding - and as I was trying to write something so that those who read about Ian will be able to understand - I could not come up with anything that could portray the reality of the trial that you are going through. I am consistently at a loss of words as many ask for updates on Ian and how you and how the Murphy's are doing... Anyway, as I was trying to write up the favor cards today - God just kept telling me to encourage you with - what the enemy intends for evil He chooses to make beautiful and good.

and He also gave me these verses for you....
Ephesians 6:7-9

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up...

...Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

love you & praying endurance and perseverance and grace for you,
Laura :)

Anonymous said...

Larissa thank you for posting even though, at times, it must be very difficult an even taxing to do so. Like everyone else, I look for updates daily and find myself thinking about you all throughout my day. Though we have never met, my heart continues to be heavy for you, Ian and his family.
Please let Ian's mother know that she is remembered and prayed for during this time as well.
I am a mother myself and have not walked down a road close to what Father is having Ian's mother walk. Yet, in the past, when my husband and daughter were fighting a disease, I ached to see them suffer. Yet, during that time, there were moments that God, in His mercy, let me refocus on Him and marvel in the amazing love God had for me even though it caused His dear child much suffering on the cross. Seeing your child suffer sure can make a mother better appreciate what God offered up in His Only Son, Jesus Christ, our only hope, our only peace, our only rest.
Jesus, please give Ian's dear mother rest this night and strength to endure as she sees her child daily struggle. Help her, Lord, to remember that even though no one else on this earth can fully comprehend what she, as Ian's mother, is having to go through, that you, Lord, You fully understand her breaking heart. You fully understand and have a purpose.
Wendy in Maryland

Anonymous said...

I'm praying these prayers from 2 Thess. for you all tonight.
"With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ."(1:11-12)
"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you." (2:16-17)
You are not forgotten. (Is. 49:15)
Joy, RI

Anonymous said...

I am praying for you all.

In Christ,


beth said...

i love you

Anonymous said...

I am lacking words of comfort or explanation, but I am continuing to bring Ian and you all before the throne of Grace.

John Q

Anonymous said...

Joni and Friends Daily Devotional
April 22, 2008

The Fellowship

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings."

- Philippians 3:10

The words "fellowship" and "suffering" don't look as thought they fit together. One communicates comfort. The other, pain. Yet God links these words, insisting that our deepest fellowship with Him can be found in the midst of suffering.

The word "fellowship" does not mean a club. It's not an inner circle of elite believers or a higher level of super-spiritual saints who have arrived. Fellowship - in the Greek, koinonia - means a mystical participation together with Christ. It's a marvelous mystery that Jesus feels the sting in His chest when you hurt.

When I hurt, when I'm in physical pain from my paralysis, when my heart twists in anguish, I cast myself on Jesus. In the fellowship of suffering, I know He takes my pain personally, He's close enough to catch me. As I rest in His arms, I'm amazed how often I find myself singing this hymn:

All my life was full of sin when Jesus found me,

All my heart was full of misery and woe;

Jesus placed His strong and loving arms around me,

And He led me in the way I ought to go.

No one ever cared for me like Jesus,

There's no other friend so kind as He;

No one else could take the sin and darkness from me -

O how much He cares for me! *[1]

Thank You, Jesus, for the warm, intimate union we enjoy together in the fellowship of Your sufferings. Bless you for catching me when I fall, for holding me when I hurt.

Anonymous said...

We have an expectation for all of you to see the goodness of the Lord in the Land of the living. So be strong and let your heart be encouraged.

The Perrys
Shippensburg, PA

Anonymous said...

Hang in there kiddo! beth

Anonymous said...

Hi Larissa, I just came down from tucking in the girls & praying with them - for Ian & you - every night, they remember faithfully. We love you both & do not understand (or like) God's answers right now. :(

I came across this Psalm in my Bible this morning w/ "Ian & Lariss" scribbled on the edge of it- I don't remember when I wrote that but this is what it says:

"The eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,

on those whose hope is in His unfailing love,

to deliver them from death & keep them alive in famine.

We wait in hope for the Lord;

He is our help & our shield.

In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord,

even as we put our hope in you."

Psalm 33:18-22

I love you Larissa -

Aunt Lori

Leah said...


Thinking of you tonight brought a book to mind. Stepping Heavenward:One woman's journey to godliness by Elizabeth Prentiss.
It is the fictional journal of a 19th century girl that follows her from girlhood at 16 into her later years. She is sickly throughout, and is not unfamiliar with the grief of losing loved ones. Thinking of you and all of your posts reminds me of "katherine" from the story. You are a modern day katherine and this is your "journey to godliness".

I cannot tell you why he has chosen this way to perfect you. Why he is using these circumstances to mold you, but you can be sure that he is. This is your story. it is painful, and hard, but perfect.

The book of your life is not a trajedy, with a sad and tearful ending, but an Epic, in which, at the end of the day, the old hero (tired and spent) comes home to a feast. arms lift him up and carry him into the table. There his father stands with open arms and says "Well done, my child. welcome home." as he embraces him. When the book of your life is closed, and the final page is written, the author binds it up, signs his name, and places it tenderly on his shelf of Grace, to be looked upon for all time as a his masterpiece.

I leave you with 2 quotes from Stepping Heavenward: (I encourage you to read it if you haven't already.)

"All these weary days so full of langour, these nights so full of unrest have had their appointed mission to my soul." (let these sufferings have their appointed mission. Renewed strength and trust in the lover of your soul.)

"My comfort is in my perfect faith in the goodness and love of my father, my certainty that He had a reason in thus afflicting me that I should amire and adore if I knew what it was." (may he reveal a glimpse of his reasoning to you.)

I am praying that God's love and Grace would overwhelm you tonight.

Love and hugs to you,

Leah P. (from the SG church in Reading, PA)

Faint not; the miles to heaven are but few and short--Rutherford

Anonymous said...

For you and Ian this morning, Larissa:

"In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart: I have overcome the world" John 16:33

nancie said...

Just wanted to tell you not to lose faith . We have an amazing God. I know because 2 years ago today, I had a really bad accident too and was in the hospital for 2 1/2 months with a brain injury. Ian is still in there and God will never leave him or you. Nancie

Joanna L. said...

I know you don't know me. I just want you to know, Larissa, that you are a hero of mine! I am so grateful to the Lord for the way you have walked through this trial with so much faith. I know it must be so hard but know this: you have been such an encouragement to me. I have been losing my vision over the past five to ten years and the Lord has used this trial as a means by which I am growing closer to him. As I have gone through this trial, and I see you go through yours, I am just amazed by the grace of God in giving me your example. I know it is hard, but keep trusting him! Your example is impacting more people than you can ever know. Cling to the Cross and what Jesus did for you there! He has met our greatest need, isn't he so kind!

You are and will be in my prayers, Larissa. Thank you so much for your example. May the Lord continue to remind you of what he has done for you.

In Christ,
Joanna L. (I go to CLC in Washington DC)

P.S. I just wanted to remind you of how powerful our God is through a quick story of mine. I had light sensitivity along with my loss of vision. This gave me headaches worse than I can even try to explain. I had to wear sunglasses 24/7 and took Advil all the time. These were, to say the least, painful! However, God can do miracles and two years ago, he healed me from that! I have not had one single light headache since then. He is a powerful God and he has perfect timing. Keep trusting HIM.
I hope that was encouraging. Thank you again for you faith.

Anonymous said...

Lydia looks like a little "kitten" curled up next to her big brother, so sweet. thanks for showing a normal side of life. (everyone sleeps) Larissa, I only know about you through your writing of Ian, tell me a little bit about yourself from time to time. You're truly an inspiration to other women (Young and old) How did you find your faith in Jesus. Everyone has a testimony, what's yours.

Anonymous said...

Dear Larissa~

Here is a reminder of a verse I am sure you are familiar with--
2 Corinthians 12:9: And he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Today I prayed this for you—that the power of Christ would rest upon you, that you would experience His love and presence today. That you would sense his grace for you through your weaknesses and receive joy as a result.

I will continue to uphold you and Ian and his family in my prayers.
Thank you for keeping us in the loop with this blog site. I was so blessed by the letter you received from Leah P. (from the SG church in Reading, PA) I actually sent a copy of her letter to you to my care group.) :)

~B.J. Covenant Life Church, Gaithersburg, MD