tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-357538362024-03-07T21:11:09.179-05:00Pray For IanPray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.comBlogger972125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-52311800861457171732014-03-17T10:18:00.001-04:002014-03-24T17:53:43.138-04:00Changes!Later this week, we'll be moving to a new website. When you come to prayforian, you will automatically be redirected to the new site - www.ianandlarissa.com.<br />
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Thank you for praying/supporting/loving Ian.</div>
Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-37261887981018080902014-03-05T22:18:00.002-05:002014-03-05T22:18:41.770-05:00the post i hoped i'd someday writei snuck away from work today, just to visit his session and see how things were going.<br />
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this face of his has been making me smile so much lately, and i wanted to see his progress.<br />
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the progress he had made last week, when i found him here, in the basement of the therapy office, walking with the parallel bars.<br />
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"the bars gave him the confidence he needed," the therapist said today.<br />
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the confidence to do this.<br />
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to take steps on his own.<br />
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for the first time in eight years. <br />
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she didn't think he was ready, to have her let go and let him slowly work it on his own.<br />
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i had told her months ago that if he was closing to taking even one step without support, i needed to know. i wanted to be there.<br />
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we didn't think that would be today.<br />
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but it was.<br />
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and i was there.<br />
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and his caregiver who has been with him for seven years. <br />
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and after eight years of hard work and not giving up and not letting discouragement take over, he's broken through something that has been holding him back.<br />
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"it gives me hope for my future," he said, as we sat on the couch waiting for our 15 and then some guests to arrive at our spontaneous party, because everything needs a celebration.<br />
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his niece and nephew have been praying for him, and when they heard the news, even their little hearts knew.<br />
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"uncle ian," his four year old voice said. "god answered our prayers and you're walking on your own without falling down."<br />
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"uncle ian," her voice cracked, three years of happiness breaking through. "He (God) saved our message. and i'm grateful because you're walking." <br />
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God did save our message, our prayers, and He hasn't forgotten them. He was not dependent on our faith.<br />
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he fell into sleep easily tonight, his tired muscles needing their rest and his brain needing silence.<br />
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he fell asleep as a good man who hasn't given up and who has known all along, deep in his heart, that His God is for him - always.<br />
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thank you, for praying for ian,Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-69767062952391431062014-02-23T16:36:00.001-05:002014-02-23T16:36:31.128-05:00when words are fewwords to share have not been many on here this year, yet God is keeping us, as we finish our book and search for a house to buy and wait for the breaking of spring.<br />
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ian continues to see God's help in therapy, progressing to walking with just the help of parallel bars and not his therapist. he's not giving up.<br />
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we're thankful that joy in our marriage is not granted because of our merit but because God loves us and treats us as His children.<br />
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thank you for sharing in His work with us.<br />
LPray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-25586177209395871742014-02-08T12:13:00.001-05:002014-02-08T12:13:53.632-05:00the measurei've been waiting for her book, since she mentioned the thesis in a philadelphia restaurant last spring.<br />
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she wanted to share the biblical perspective on women's work, that it's not defined by location or geography. it's not defined by diapers or conference calls.<br />
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thank you, friend, for writing this.<br />
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"as Christians, we are to be grounded in this identity (...a follower of Christ...) even as we add other roles and ways to express that identity in relationship to others. we might have an interesting job for a season. we might be married for a season. we might have children at home for a season. <b><i> </i></b><br />
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<b><i>but those things can be taken away from us or never given to us at all. they are gifts for this life only.</i></b><br />
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Jesus has promised that <b>if we choose to sit at his feet</b>, we have made the best choice of all. we will inherit the better portion, that which will never be taken away; a relationship with God, his word and the promise of eternal rewards and life with him in heaven. in one simple sentence, Jesus shifts our earthbound perspective and takes us high above our daily lives to see the importance of being His disciple."<br />
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-larissa<br />
<br />Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-28844471679510735762014-01-21T21:36:00.003-05:002014-01-21T21:36:46.176-05:00invest<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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this weekend was for flying south, far away from the below zero temps and white flakes.</div>
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to reward the work of writing 75,000 words </div>
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and to invest in our marriage all that this coming year may drain from it. </div>
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and peace and rest met us, an answer to many prayers, and in the ways we wouldn't have thought possible.</div>
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and his dad might not have ever imagined we could have done it.</div>
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but we did. because God has done much.</div>
Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-49052491906767342072014-01-13T22:37:00.001-05:002014-01-13T22:37:30.766-05:00the littles"if i were him, i'd just want someone to hold me," steve said, one day, years ago, when ian was still really sick and steve was still alive.<br />
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i knew what he meant because in the desperation of ian's condition those first few weeks, months after the accident, there was nothing we could do for ian. except to show him we loved him.<br />
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but there was always a bed in the way. and i wasn't strong enough to lift his stiff torso toward me.<br />
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or there was always a wheelchair in the way, and he couldn't lean forward so i could get a good wrap in.<br />
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so at night, when steve and the care giver would help ian sit up on the exercise mat steve built, i would wait. and sit and wait. and cancel plans because i didn't want to miss that moment. that moment when steve would open the bedroom door and let me know that i could come in and hug him.<br />
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i could put my arms all the way around him. because he was sitting on the edge of his exercise mat, nothing behind him.<br />
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my torso was holding his up, but i was around him.<br />
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and he tried to lift his arm to be around me, too.<br />
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and i forget those times, when a hug was all it took to get me through another day. how ungrateful i've allowed myself to become, forgetting that one of the greatest gifts, holding and being held, is right next to me every day.<br />
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it's there and it's so sweet. and he now always wants to be with his wifey. and when someone starts to pray, he reaches for my hand. and when i sit next to him, his arm wraps my waist. and sometimes he squeezes the extra skin that wasn't there a few years ago and we laugh because he's not supposed to notice but we have changed in these nine years.<br />
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God gives us joys in the littles.<br />
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He gives us joy when we look for it in the most over-looked movements.<br />
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and even though i forget, what a great God there is surrounding me.<br />
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tonight, i'm thankful for arms that wrap me into him tight. <br />
<br />Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-79843451996988308542014-01-01T19:08:00.001-05:002014-01-01T19:09:31.627-05:00He followed us<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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she came to visit us, <a href="http://www.lydiajane.com/" target="_blank">our life photographer,</a> on a warm summer day to take photos to be on the inside flap of a book that was being scripted each evening after dinner. <br />
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that day was the first time he could do this,<br />
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stand next to me, with just my hand helping him, not with my arm around him, like we needed to in all of the photos from this day<br />
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where my arm was hidden around his back, helping him, balancing him, and we couldn't stand and simply hold hands.</div>
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this summer came to ian in strength, upgrading to a walker, and then a cane and committing to walking by year 30. he left the house without a wheelchair for the first time and he walked out the front doors of his mom's house for the first time.</div>
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2013 was a big year.</div>
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yet, on a day that becomes reflective for so many of us, that's not what i most see.</div>
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what i most see is a hard-fought year, with fears and exposure and costs and crying and days sitting in front of a blank computer screen wondering why we signed a contract- that were all swallowed up by what was following us. by what was behind us and before us. </div>
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it was a year swallowed up in God.</div>
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it was a year that He swallowed us up, taking our inadequacies that were asked to put our story into 75,000 words, our legs that were asked to learn to walk again, our hearts that at times wanted out.</div>
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He followed us with mercy, and made our hopeless mornings and our sweet, quiet date nights and our laughter at his inappropriate jokes into beautiful life canvases.</div>
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He followed us with His goodness, keeping us, with his white-knuckle grip.</div>
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He blessed us, with two new nieces and nephews, bring number seven and eight into our hearts that four years ago didn't know that type of love.</div>
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He kept us, in each other, faithful and honorable to our covenant.</div>
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And all that we were given in Him will continue to be, so that this coming year that looms with exposure as our feebly written pages will be carried home in shopping bags and delivered with the mailman won't be faced apart from mercy. Or Himself. Or joy, in the most unexpected places.</div>
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He will follow us, and someday, someday hopefully soon, we will dwell in His house, forever.</div>
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With love,</div>
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I&L </div>
<br />Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-7406198655935273152013-12-19T22:22:00.001-05:002013-12-19T22:22:41.747-05:00treadmills and holidayslast week, ian got on a treadmill at therapy with assistance from us. on his best round, he got about 10 steps in on his own as he held on onto the handles.<br />
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it's small to us that have full use of our legs, but to ian, it was a huge step.<br />
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in a few hours we leave for the mountains and the city, to celebrate jesus with our wonderful families.<br />
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please enjoy times of rest and hope.<br />
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love<br />
i&lPray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-74689966538929896522013-12-07T09:33:00.000-05:002013-12-07T09:33:46.247-05:00a sparkwe were talking about the acronym the pastor gave us, reminding us about the ways of love, how they look and feel and act.<br />
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we were sitting in a small room, circled together, thinking on how we distribute love and who we know that does it so well.<br />
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"ian, how are we to love our spouses?", our group leader asked.<br />
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"thinking of them before yourself."<br />
<br />
we kept reflecting on love and what it looks like and then what i always fear happened, as i saw the effect of a catheter that decided to stop working. i saw on the floor what is always on my mind in public; i saw my own example of what joni eareckson tada has spoken of many times before, the fears that remain into adulthood when disability lives in your body.<br />
<br />
i left the room quickly, discreetly, to find what i needed to hide it, remove it, fix it.<br />
<br />
when i came back into the room, she stood up and moved closely to us, gently reminding us that we were family. gently reminding us that we need not be embarrassed, that they loved and would help us.<br />
<br />
and there it happened, the love that we were speaking of, the acting out of Jesus death and what it did for us. they helped us to the car. they cleaned up after us when we left. they joyfully loved.<br />
<br />
in the safety of our car,<br />
<br />
"ian, i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry that those embarrassing things happen."<br />
<br />
then tears because it was a hard week and because lies were making a home in my heart.<br />
<br />
"ian, i don't understand this. i hate this."<br />
<br />
"joy is closer than you think."<br />
<br />
"how can you handle this? i'm so sick of this brain injury."<br />
<br />
"God gives me joy in the stupid things, like caths breaking."<br />
<br />
i asked him how, because i didn't get how he could be laughing, while he sat in wet sweat pants, and while i cried.<br />
<br />
"because this is all so fleeting."<br />
<br />
then quietly, in our little white car, his truth knocked out the lies in my head. his Psalm 73 truth cut through the lies that i was believing.<br />
<br />
and there, in the midst of the week that was holding anything other than hope, i experienced the little <a href="http://shar.es/DR9q8" target="_blank">miracles that i had read about earlier that morning</a>. the little miracles of hope.<br />
<br />
in the midst of a week of crying and longing and heaviness, the miracle of Jesus, living out in my husband, living out in our small group, who entered into our lives and put on Jesus love instead of selfishness or judgement.<br />
<br />
and deep inside, a little spark grew, just a fraction, but enough to remind us.<br />
<br />
"God is in this."Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-51174857833350690282013-11-27T22:39:00.000-05:002013-12-01T00:08:29.232-05:00hope"ian, you bring a lot of hope to people."<br>
<br>
"do i bring hope to you?"<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>
pause, because i wanted to hear more.<br>
<br>
"why do you ask?"<br>
<br>
"because that's the most important one."<br>
<br>
<br>Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-36115672604930738602013-11-27T22:16:00.000-05:002013-11-27T22:16:35.689-05:00when the holidays hurt<span class="text Ps-103-11" id="en-ESV-15561">"i just wish i could skip the holidays," she told me, as she dreaded the days that meant more memories flooding to mind. memories of the little red-head life that left too soon. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Ps-103-11" id="en-ESV-15561">i get it. ian gets it. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKKHxQWY0XKovY8nuvQyQM-dF2a6qhkaViork4EbOQp-XIHW84payrKNXHol6VhC9PAGNbsq9ZOrohFuQhVCI583QCl9swYcE4UiQ4-ps8dN6t-YuOmp1fgkMdSEBRelOtXGMv/s1600/photo+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKKHxQWY0XKovY8nuvQyQM-dF2a6qhkaViork4EbOQp-XIHW84payrKNXHol6VhC9PAGNbsq9ZOrohFuQhVCI583QCl9swYcE4UiQ4-ps8dN6t-YuOmp1fgkMdSEBRelOtXGMv/s400/photo+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<span class="text Ps-103-11" id="en-ESV-15561">because the holidays don't always look like we want them to. or like we think they should.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Ps-103-11" id="en-ESV-15561">because some of us are in a house alone thanksgiving morning. some of us don't have a home. some of us have closed wombs and kids with wandering souls and gaping heart wounds and some of us, some millions of us, weren't even given the chance to breathe this year.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Ps-103-11" id="en-ESV-15561">some of our holidays don't fit into pinterest-shaped boxes.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Ps-103-11" id="en-ESV-15561">some of us, when we get back to work, will be asked how our holiday was and we'll fake a smile and say "great." but it didn't really feel great. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Ps-103-11" id="en-ESV-15561">sometimes, holidays hurt. because the pressure of expectations builds and the reality of our lives doesn't change on a thursday in november or on december 25.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbf7PJmJ7qIG6-V8r9O68G-6_hvksAT0gFcX0eFVGFq_xwtd0t3qUc6X5v5QuuJYJ2cmW0RgHgIi018UbIAiHjqeQYL-FTaW3qx7bstbLdkDBbFDPOvvFchHO8Y5K381jJ5TbG/s1600/photo+2%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbf7PJmJ7qIG6-V8r9O68G-6_hvksAT0gFcX0eFVGFq_xwtd0t3qUc6X5v5QuuJYJ2cmW0RgHgIi018UbIAiHjqeQYL-FTaW3qx7bstbLdkDBbFDPOvvFchHO8Y5K381jJ5TbG/s400/photo+2%25282%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<span class="text Ps-103-11" id="en-ESV-15561">yet, there's that blood. that blood that was wrought to fill us every day. the mercy blood that doesn't skip holidays but is there, available, when we dig in and let it cover us. </span><span class="text Ps-103-11" id="en-ESV-15561"> </span><br />
<br />
<i><span class="text Ps-103-11" id="en-ESV-15561">For as high as the heavens are above the earth,</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-103-11">so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;</span></span><span class="text Ps-103-12" id="en-ESV-15562"></span><span class="text Ps-103-12" id="en-ESV-15562"> as far as the east is from the west,</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-103-12">so far does he remove our transgressions from us.</span></span><span class="text Ps-103-13" id="en-ESV-15563"></span><span class="text Ps-103-13" id="en-ESV-15563"> As a father shows compassion to his children,</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-103-13">so the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> shows compassion to those who fear him.</span></span><span class="text Ps-103-14" id="en-ESV-15564"></span><span class="text Ps-103-14" id="en-ESV-15564"> For he knows our frame;</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-103-14">he remembers that we are dust.</span></span></i><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-103-14"><i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">psalm 103:11-14</span></i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-103-14"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">that blood is there, and when we allow ourselves to enter in to it and know that all of this, before and behind, is grace, we can put one foot in front of the other.</span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-103-14"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">we can fight to have hope. and fight to give thanks. and fight to love. because Jesus did it for us.</span></span></span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-103-14"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><i><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span> </i></span></span>Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-49760647166821682842013-11-25T22:00:00.001-05:002013-11-25T22:00:39.780-05:00newwe tucked ourselves underneath the feathers of our big fluffy spread, our goose bumps giving in to their warmth. i sat with our bible opened on my knees, a hot cup of tea within my reach for us to share.<br />
<br />
"what do you want to do for our quiet time," he had asked, a question that spurs smiles because it means he's feeling well.<br />
<br />
we've been reading proverbs, and so made our way there again.<br />
<br />
<i><span class="text Prov-16-2" id="en-ESV-16843">All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Prov-16-2">but the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> weighs the spirit.</span></span></i><br />
<br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-16-2">we were sharing our hearts, how differently we see ourselves than how God sees us.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span class="text Prov-16-5" id="en-ESV-16846">Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>; </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Prov-16-5">be assured, he will not go unpunished.</span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-16-2"> </span></span></i><br />
<br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-16-2">our patterns, so similar, mine not as refined as his. the habit of anger and pride, that lead to destruction but are so hard to overcome.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-16-2">"ian, i know i've been given a new heart. but sometimes my old self, that still wants to sin, feels so nearby." </span></span><i><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-16-2"> </span></span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-16-2">"it is. that's why we need Jesus."</span></span></i><br />
<br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-16-2">in seven words he takes me to the heart of it, to the heart of my human-ness. in those words he takes me to the heart of our marriage - a relationship that helps me to love and fear God more.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-16-2">these moments, they are beautiful.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-16-2">love</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-16-2">L </span></span><i><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-16-2"> </span></span></i><i><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-16-2"> </span></span></i>Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-423118016289685112013-11-13T21:37:00.001-05:002013-11-13T21:37:30.875-05:00love is<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Ip92190a3j7l3Tc-3hN97dIhX3e5OW58CxuZDdFPH16Rou_CgwQS1qra6zrLywjd6GdwssHSLQWdMAuHPknph1kmIln48fJEppfKc8_P5bXTI5RhpVkPB4P8L9ULKB1sqz3O/s1600/photo(7).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Ip92190a3j7l3Tc-3hN97dIhX3e5OW58CxuZDdFPH16Rou_CgwQS1qra6zrLywjd6GdwssHSLQWdMAuHPknph1kmIln48fJEppfKc8_P5bXTI5RhpVkPB4P8L9ULKB1sqz3O/s400/photo(7).jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
it's easy to recite the verse, the one that we hear at weddings and memorize in sing-song tones as children.<br />
<br />
<i><span class="text 1Cor-13-4" id="en-ESV-28653">Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant</span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-5" id="en-ESV-28654">or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;<sup> </sup></span><span class="text 1Cor-13-6" id="en-ESV-28655"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.</span> </i><span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656"><i>Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.</i></span><br />
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656"><br /></span>
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656">it's easy to hear it, and know it, but to really sink into our bones is different. patience is still sinking in to mine, and nothing has pressed patience into me more than our marriage. because life with a brain injury is slow. and it's unknown. and it's not clearcut.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656">which creates a greater void that needs to be filled with patience. which is exactly where i need to be stripped. which is why God gave me to ian.</span><br />
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656"><br /></span>
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656">i needed him to help me learn patience.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656">like when he doesn't answer me as quickly as i want him to. </span><br />
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656"><br /></span>
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656">or when i just really want him to be able to walk on his own. (because even in the midst of the excitement of his progress, my heart still sins).</span><br />
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656"><br /></span>
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656">or when we don't yet have what we think we need.</span><br />
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656"><br /></span>
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656">i. i. i. that's what i make it about. the root of my inpatience is my selfishness.</span><br />
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656"><br /></span>
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656">and if someone had been watching, filming, observing my heart and outward acts for the last two days toward my husband, they would not see love that was kind, or un-resentful or patient.</span><br />
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656"><br /></span>
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656">i don't see that in myself. </span><br />
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656"><br /></span>
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656">but i do see my god, hanging on a tree for me, that my impatience might not separate me from him. i see his blood traveling down his body and onto his toes and drip on the ground so that i not be lost in my sin. </span><br />
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656"><br /></span>
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656">i see his head slumped down by death so that i my face may be lifted up to gaze in His face on the ressurrection day.</span><br />
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656"><br /></span>
<span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-ESV-28656">this was done for me. and for our marriage. </span>Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-18880192884420840772013-11-03T20:27:00.001-05:002013-11-03T20:27:32.408-05:00walk by thirty<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk8vpIF4GqxlbHCtPhbhHhCORieGxTLNGZCTJDYw5CGtPi6givHNQXrnCLmeg_LvRvOaRTk0Wf4tWfwmyKbBzaeNkakMKaPwOBeEfgWIthHupxuUwBOcb4Rws3q9Jn8PVKHyPt/s640/blogger-image-441516620.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk8vpIF4GqxlbHCtPhbhHhCORieGxTLNGZCTJDYw5CGtPi6givHNQXrnCLmeg_LvRvOaRTk0Wf4tWfwmyKbBzaeNkakMKaPwOBeEfgWIthHupxuUwBOcb4Rws3q9Jn8PVKHyPt/s640/blogger-image-441516620.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">#walkbythirty - a vow with our cousin for Ian to be walking by our 30th birthdays, 18 months from now. to celebrate, we'll have a monster party with a husband/cousin who can walk.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">follow his progress with #walkbythirty.</div>Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-88052598890298132552013-10-31T16:46:00.001-04:002013-10-31T16:46:43.677-04:00the mix<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>I was telling him my heart, explaining the difficulty I was having in my mind. I wanted something, something that wasn't guaranteed to me in the bible, but something God could very well give us.<div><br></div><div>I was getting stuck on the mixture of knowing God didn't promise it to me and having faith that He could give it.</div><div><br></div><div>"You need to stop worrying about the mixture part," he said. "And focus on the faith."</div><div><br></div><div>Perfect. Perfect for my little heart that was trying so hard to sort instead of just believe.</div><div><br></div><div>In a few words, he lead me back. Back to faith in the God that saved us from our sins.</div><div><br></div><div>So thankful for Ian. So thankful that I'm part of Ian's incredible story. Pray for Ian.</div>Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-80667977388127935112013-10-19T21:49:00.000-04:002013-10-19T21:49:00.792-04:00an unexpected visitor<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHFpBr6fSkvgfkSqLaqT7GjKRufaUVc9UIAre1_6GIORy29TDYb__BHvvLtTnR0SgAwqRHfzBZ4zEeO35bn1ziOfNzBufkTwrYfjPquo58lzY9wahgBLByXSXQ4Epfh2OKza9H/s1600/Wedding-156.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHFpBr6fSkvgfkSqLaqT7GjKRufaUVc9UIAre1_6GIORy29TDYb__BHvvLtTnR0SgAwqRHfzBZ4zEeO35bn1ziOfNzBufkTwrYfjPquo58lzY9wahgBLByXSXQ4Epfh2OKza9H/s400/Wedding-156.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
an unexpected visitor came into our home last night, slipping in while
the rain drops pounced off our windows. not forcefully, but gently, she
planted herself in my heart while we laid with eyes shut. when i woke,
she filled my thoughts, not darkness that had greeted me each morning
for what felt like lifetimes.<br />
<br />
she whispered life and heaven and redemption in my ears, as i rolled over to look at the eyebrows and shoulders and tousled brown hair next to me that i'd grown so comfortable with but that had altered my life so.<br />
<br />
she, Hope, wasn't expected, yet she was so very welcomed, because she had just hours before seemed to have been a forgotten friend that had no plans of journeying back to me. she had felt very far off and unable to be convinced to come for a visit, despite my tearful requests. <br />
<br />
as she laid next to me on our striped gray and white sheets, i wondered how long she would stay, but then decided those thoughts should be forgotten. because she was here as a gift, and although i did not know for how long she would choose to stay in my home, i wanted her to be welcomed.Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-55619655941688667872013-09-24T22:36:00.001-04:002013-09-24T22:36:25.926-04:00for the days that are too much"Your keys are already in your car," Mary told me as I left the house. It didn't phase me, until I stepped outside to the sound of my car running, the vents turned all the way up to melt the frost and warm my bones. <div><br></div><div>"You are loved," she told me.</div><div><br></div><div>The gesture that brought tears helped me to start a day on gratefulness. Yet it grew into one of those days that felt like too much, like him not getting breakfast until after 10 and no time for a lunch break- instead distractedly eating an apple as I sat at my desk, saddened when the first bite revealed a rotten, brown core. Or then the arm brace he's supposed to wear at night keeps him awake in pain, forgetting to call the doctor back, and not getting pills ready for the morning. All on a night when my body needs to be out the door at 6:30 am. in a few short hours.</div><div><br></div><div>These are the days that feel like too much, that this isn't what I asked for because stress brought from the little just reminds me of the bigger losses I have.</div><div><br></div><div>But then there are the sweet gifts, like the new book in the mail that will show me god. The three hours by the fire with a girlfriend and his smile when I come into the room late. </div><div><br></div><div>The fire and the conversation with her and the staying up late with him is worth it. Because those are the moments where I get to live and breathe.</div><div><br></div><div>Those are the moments where I see God filling me up, filling my emptiness.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-73307710093162891102013-09-18T17:04:00.001-04:002013-09-18T17:04:50.026-04:00why i cry when vacations end<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsh2K7jP01AtMtKhT80i22L-Wphyphenhyphenm36gTm2ygl_n-RDwD9FxpOf3wGesyWjBR3rrxfFBdY7T1w5rJTZDeSYdfO2K8Xd4W2rhxBeK6T2kC6cn3pf_AETHZlF9v5TlcvOk-EDYuQ/s1600/DSC_0403.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsh2K7jP01AtMtKhT80i22L-Wphyphenhyphenm36gTm2ygl_n-RDwD9FxpOf3wGesyWjBR3rrxfFBdY7T1w5rJTZDeSYdfO2K8Xd4W2rhxBeK6T2kC6cn3pf_AETHZlF9v5TlcvOk-EDYuQ/s400/DSC_0403.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
this weekend was with our dearest, the ones who stood beside us three years ago on 8/28. at a <a href="http://www.maplelakesports.com/" target="_blank">camp</a> in the mountains, we ate together and slept in sleeping bags and on couches and in pack and plays.</div>
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time didn't matter except for knowing when it was time to eat and time to canoe.</div>
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it felt perfect. and happy. </div>
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and ian laughed.</div>
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and lanterns floated.</div>
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and the coyotes started to howl as the fog drifted over the lake and onto our campfire.</div>
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and we watched as three floated over the lake, thinking on all that three years had brought.</div>
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we talked about god and wondered if maybe those days were a fraction of what heaven would be like. and when it all ended, before it ended but we had to start cleaning, i started crying. because times of refreshment remind me that we're not in heaven yet. leaving vacations filled with reprieve and entering back into the messiness of life feels like stepping outside of heaven after tasting its sweetness. </div>
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a foretaste of what is to come.</div>
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<br />Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-86325244099970317032013-09-11T23:11:00.000-04:002013-09-11T23:11:35.738-04:00all<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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this weekend we head to the mountains, to where this marriage began. as we prepare to reunite with those that sat beside us under the chandelier, i think about all of the details that made that day magical.</div>
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and all of the people that made it perfect.</div>
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and the husband who has made three years worth every cost.</div>
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we'll all be there together, again. and the babies that were in the bellies of the flowered dresses will be scampering through the grass. and all will feel well, for now.</div>
Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-58730554687608750162013-09-08T21:47:00.001-04:002013-09-08T21:47:19.402-04:00my love5'6 and she's filled with love for me. she's beautiful and she loves me. I love her, everything about her, and there's nothing else that I want to say about it. because its not every day you love somebody this much. <div><br></div><div>Larissa, I love you.</div><div><br></div><div>- Ian</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-74722978913224265102013-08-28T00:05:00.000-04:002013-08-28T00:05:01.001-04:00eight twenty eight<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">today is eight twenty eight.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">today is our dad's birthday. and today is our anniversary. and today means His promise to work all things together for good because He loves us.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> today is for reflecting on three years with a God who has held our marriage, has kept us when we would have left on our own and has sprinkled joy in the most unexpected places. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">today is for remembering that when God gave life to Steve on this day 53 years ago, </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">He knew exactly what He was doing.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="text Col-3-14" id="en-ESV-29515">we are now one because of life.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><span class="text Col-3-14" id="en-ESV-29515">and above all these put on <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29515AL" title="See cross-reference AL">AL</a>)"></sup>love, which <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29515AM" title="See cross-reference AM">AM</a>)"></sup>binds everything together in <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29515AN" title="See cross-reference AN">AN</a>)"></sup>perfect harmony.</span> a<span class="text Col-3-15" id="en-ESV-29516">nd let <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29516AO" title="See cross-reference AO">AO</a>)"></sup>the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29516AP" title="See cross-reference AP">AP</a>)"></sup>in one body. and <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29516AQ" title="See cross-reference AQ">AQ</a>)"></sup>be thankful. </span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><span class="text Col-3-15">Col 3:14-15</span></i></span></div>
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<br />Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-90835594357121071672013-08-25T22:18:00.001-04:002013-08-27T19:11:41.421-04:00it changes<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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oh dear summer, how good you've been to us. filling our days with babies and lake water, leaving little room in our hearts for emptiness </div>
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yet it needs to end to make way for autumn and I hope our little hearts can survive past the days that keep us alive.</div>
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<br />Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-4260910330413229792013-08-18T23:00:00.001-04:002013-08-18T23:00:55.444-04:00so let it be<div style="text-indent: 0px;"><span style="text-indent: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>Oh, it is sweet to be able to say, "My Lord, if for other reasons I need not suffer, yet if I can honor thee more by suffering, and if the loss of my earthly all will bring thee glory, then so let it be. I refuse the comfort, if it comes in the way of thine honor." O that we thus walked more in the footsteps of our Lord, cheerfully enduring trial for his sake, promptly and willingly putting away the thought of self and comfort when it would interfere with our finishing the work which he has given us to do. Great grace is needed, but great grace is provided.</span></div><div style="text-indent: 0px;"><span style="text-indent: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0px;"><span style="text-indent: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">- CH Spurgeon</span></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-4816512482161642092013-08-14T17:49:00.001-04:002013-08-14T17:49:19.687-04:00Keep me in your prayersPlease pray for therapy - that I would be motivated and willing to work hard. I want to work hard because God has worked hard for me. <div><br></div><div>Ian</div>Pray for Ianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08095009101061000235noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35753836.post-31388283994354624552013-07-31T07:02:00.001-04:002013-07-31T07:02:34.072-04:00Walking<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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Now he's walking, without a walker. Just a cane and one of us helping balance with a gait belt.<br />
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Thank you for praying. And for buying his art so he can keep going to therapy.</div>
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It's working.<br />
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