Today I was reminding Ian of how close he was to dying after his accident- that we had even contacted the funeral home. I asked him what that made him think and he said "why am i still here?" he said that he meant that in a hopeful way, and when i asked what it showed him about God's character, he said, "that he's merciful."
although it surfaces as a temptation at times, ian is not angry at god for what happened to him. with all of his limitations, his daily struggles, his temporary inabilities, he has many worldly reasons to say "why am i still alive" in a way that charges god for what happened. but he has never conveyed that attitude to me. he sees god's hand of mercy in the fact that he is still alive, that he is still able to spend time with the people that he loves. this is only a work of grace allowing ian to keep his salvation more central in his thoughts than his suffering.
i've mentioned this so many times on the blog, that no one has affected my walk with the lord more than ian, and no one has represented christ better to me in my life than ian. thank you, ian, for continuing to challenge me and point me to christ. i'm still praying for complete healing and that you see the goodness of the lord in the land of the living.
love you, ian.