over the past 12 hours, our story has been watched more than 86,000 times. this is astounding. and to ian in particular, it is worth it: "i would do this (disability) all over again if i knew it would affect this many people. god is glorious."
and so here we are, knowing that literally thousands of people just today have hopefully somehow seen god through our marriage. that in itself is mind-blowing. because it is so not of us. we are so very ordinary. tonight is so very ordinary. ian is napping. the rain is pouring outside and the washer downstairs is spinning. the poor clothes in the washer probably won't get switched until I get home from work tomorrow. and by that time, they'll need to be re-washed. i can't see the floor of our bedroom, our laundry completely taking over. i'm putting off making dinner, even though all it requires is putting leftovers on a plate and into the microwave.
and yet, in the midst of this ordinary, the weight of what has happened today through this video and what will continue to happen pummels me. it pummels me because what god is accomplishing through our afflictions is happening at the same time that we are sinning. What a great divide that crosses. What wretched sinners Ian and I are, and yet somehow, He uses us to magnify himself. Our sin does not prevent god's glory on display.
on days like this, we get just a glimpse of this promised eternal weight of glory, as undeserved as it is, and it is enough to bring us to our knees. how great this weight will be in heaven!
one thing that we love and hold so close on days like this is that our dad, steve, now feels and knows that weight of glory. he prepared us so well and we can't wait to see him again. one of the biggest impressions on my heart the few days after he died was that he was seeing fully. and that he would encourage us to press on, because it is beyond worth it.
thank you, all. in the words of my dear husband, god is awesome.