"ian, we're being given a car for free. should we sell ours or give it away too?"
"we have to give it away."
he's a profoundly solid and simple leader. because of that, it's usually a joy to follow his direction. especially when it came to the car. he knew that because we were being blessed with a car for free, that we could in turn bless someone else just as much. i might not have made that decision on my own. or, i could have just not told him, and made the decision myself.
that's where being married to a husband with a brain injury relies solely on the work of the Holy Spirit in my heart. it is tempting to just make decisions, spend money, or do things without telling ian. i could get away with a lot. he's not paying attention to the details, simply because he can't. unless i, being his helper, bring those things to him, and allow him to lead me.
"wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." - Ephesians 5:22.
submission for me is so clearly an action. i need to bring things to ian. he has given me the trust and confidence that i need to make some decisions on my own, like good husbands do. i don't have to take everything to him. however, when i asked ian for an example of what that looks like, he gave me about 14 fake and sarcastic examples. so, he's not allowed to get a quote on the blog tonight. :) but truly, for example, ian doesn't care what i make for dinner, because he says that what i make is always good.
what does matter though is that i try to cultivate a heart of submission, even though it doesn't look like submission in a lot of other marriages from the outside. but i think the heart issue is probably still the same. and i am so thankful that the Holy Spirit dwells in me, because without, i would make a terrible mess of our marriage and we would probably be broke.
so tonight i'm thankful that i have a God who lives in me and in our marriage.
thank you, always, for praying.