i have spent the first year of marriage trying to create a new life for, a happier world for ian. we've tried to learn to love god more, we've surrounded ourselves with beautiful friends, ive worked to decorate our home with loveliness, have spent countless hours with our loving families. we live in a great house that right now is covered by a beautiful breeze and is surrounded by green trees and grass. and it feels right and full and good. but at the end of the day, the home that i want to create for ian is an impossible task. the life that we want to have, free of disabilities and therapy and deficiencies is not up to us at all. and the One who could change it, hasn't.
so i'm left with a great task. to keep digging for contentment, digging, digging and digging.
and as i share my heart with my wonderful husband, his words are "i'm so glad that god gave me a wife." such simple gratefulness. maybe i'll catch up with him someday.
thanks for praying