"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end."
When I pray for Ian, I try to remember to thank God that He knows the ending of this story. But I also want to be thankful that He not only knew, but He created, the beginning. Today was hard because Ian is not who he used to be. He is a constant reminder to me of how fleeting we are- and that is a great thing to be aware of. In one second, all that we have built our dreams on, all that we have boasted in, all that we have thought to define us can completely change. We can be stripped of all that we cling to.
But this is how God designed us. And He and His promised inheritance to us are everything that we are not: "imperishable, undefiled, and unfading" (1 Peter 1). What an encouraging contrast to look at Ian and then to look at Christ. Fleeting versus unchanging. But Ian in his condition is no different than any of us- we're not keeping our hearts beating on our own.
Thank you, Ian, for teaching me just how weak I am. Like always, you remind me daily of my need for a savior.
Thank you, God, that you yourself are the beginning and the end.
Please pray for Ian. His sore throat is back. He slept most of the day and we wouldn't be surprised if it's because his throat is hurting so much. Tonight he was groaning, and he told me it was because he was in pain. He also said that it hurts every time that he swallows. He's been doing so well at swallowing, but his sore throat really sets him back.
He also communicated to me tonight that he is discouraged. I don't know what specifically he is struggling with. But he has been completely stripped of the life that he knew. Who or what does he have to cling to but Christ? If he is struggling to believe true thoughts about God and to stay focused on the cross, this life has plenty for him to be discouraged about.
Lord, please have mercy.