May 9, 2007


I want this to be over. I want this to be over. I want this to be over. That's what my emotions often tell me and those are the words that often race through my head- I just want us to be out of this trial. But, not surprisingly, writing these words and speaking them doesn't accomplish anything. But praying does. And asking God to deliver us does, because when we are asking for deliverance from affliction, we are praying in agreement with God's promises. (Psalm 34:19) He has already delivered me, the Murphys and Ian from much-most importantly, our deliverance from our lives headed straight to hell, and he will deliver us again from the trials of this world.

I admit that I have grown discouraged in my belief that God will heal Ian. I'm stuck on the lack of progress that I can see. I desperately just want Ian to talk to us and hang out with us again. He must be getting bored of hearing my lame stories. I want to pray that we would be surprised soon by God's power and surprised by the way He heals Ian. I want to keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking, as I know that that honors God and I know that's what Ian would be doing. And I don't want to lose sight of the Ian that we know but rather I want to be excited for the day that we see that Ian again.

"I believe; help my unbelief" Mark 9:24



FreeInHim94 said...

I so feel the war between your wants...wanting Ian healed and wanting to believe God for the best. I know it is difficult to keep asking and keep seeking and keep knocking when it seems there is no answer...but God is faithful to His promises "believe that you might receive."

Persevering in prayer with you,

mike hartnett said...

prayed for you this morning Larissa. God is working even when nothing seems to change, He loves you more than anyone else ever, everything he does for you is love. I pray that God would draw near to you now as you draw near to Him. He is great and IS faithful to his promises.

praying continually,


Anonymous said...

As I was reading the blog last night, I remembered the story of Rhoda in the Bible.

In Acts 12, it says that Peter was arrested and put in prison under heavy gaurd, "but constant prayer was offered to God for him by the church."

They didn't know what was going on with Peter at the time, only that he was a captive. So they prayed. And prayed. And prayed.

Then an angel led Peter out of the prison. Peter thought that it was a dream; he didn't even know he was really being rescued. When he was free he went to the house where they were all praying and knocked.

Everybody is in the house, praying for Peter, but Rhoda listens for the door. She goes to answer it, and when she recognizes Peter's voice, she is so excited that she forgets to open the door for him!
Instead, she runs back and tells everybody else. But nobody believes her at first. They think she is crazy. They even think it could be Peter's angel at the door.

And Peter keeps knocking until they answer it! They are astonished at the answer to their prayers.

I also thought of Jesus praying in the garden. He prayed that if it be God's will "the cup would pass from Him." He prayed. And prayed. And prayed. And God sends an angel to strengthen Him for the cup He must drink. (Luke 22:43)

God may not always answer our prayers the way we want Him to, but He'll always answer them. Listen for the ansewer. We can expect it. We can expect him to strengthen us, to give us exactly what we need, or even exactly what we ask for. He'll keep knocking.

God has been answering our prayers for Ian for seven months now, and we can continue to expect answers from Him.

Alicia Joy LeBlanc

Anonymous said...

You don't know me and that's okay, but I just wanted to let you know that I read this blog almost every day and I have been since February when Carolyn posted on Solo Feminity. I pray for you all often. I cannot imagine being where you are right now. I don't know how I would manage the one I love being where Ian is right now. I am daily encouraged by your faith and the Murphy's faith.
My heart is excited for the day all is restored, whether it be here and soon or in Heaven.
Please know that I feel deeply for you and faithfully lift you up in my prayers as well as ask the Lord to lay His healing hand on Ian.
How amazing it will be when I check the blog one of these days and hear that Ian is back. I will pray in faith for that. Until then, my prayers are with you.

1 Peter 1:3-9

Anonymous said...

Running on parallel tracks with you! Wanting to glorify God, trying to be encouraged in the face of continous "bad" and trying news from doctors, and just in general trying to survive. "Prone to wander Lord, I fear it..." not understanding why children (large or small) are suffering unberarably...yet He is our only hope. We trust not in chariots or horses (i.e. doctors or medicines), but know that our GOd is compassionate, merciful, loving, and longs to bless. Please Lord let us see more blessings soon for Ian et al.

beth said...

love you, laris

TimKurtz said...

Larissa & Murphy's - Thanks for your incredibly raw, honest posts. I continue to pray for you all and for Ian.

Funny that you should put a Melville banner up. Last year, at a very dark time in my life, my brother Tom (interning there with you at LOLC) directed me to these zany vids. God used them! My sorrow and weariness were replaced by laughter.

I pray for you all today that our loving Father will use something unexpected, something uncommon or maybe even common, to bring you joy and laughter this day.

Your brother in Christ,

Mrs. B said...

that verse you shared reminds me of an album that has John Newton's (amazing grace) song called, "Help My Unbelief".

The album reminds me of how Augustine said, "To sing once is to pray twice".