His nurse said that he was being pretty feisty this morning. He kept pushing her hand away when she was trying to brush his teeth. In speech today Val was putting some things in his mouth but he kept pushing her hand away too. He’s much more oriented to his body so that when he wants to push someone away, he finds their hand almost immediately.
Tonight while I was praying with Ian, I started feeling very anxious, even in my prayers. I want so badly for him to just wake up. Sometimes that fact that I know God can heal him with one breath makes it even more frustrating! I just want to say “come on God, just do it! I know you can!” But just because I know that God is able, doesn’t mean that He has to. Just because we have faith that He can, doesn’t mean that He is going to. He will do what is perfect for us, in His perfect timing.
I knew in my anxiousness that I was not trusting God. He commands us not to worry and I need to obey Him. So I sat down in the chair next to Ian’s bed and decided that I should probably start learning what it means to “cast your cares on the Lord.” (Psalm 55:21-23) My anxiousness about when Ian will wake does not glorify God or change the situation. I found it most helpful in those few minutes to just close my eyes and try to focus on the cross. To let go of the worries about tomorrow and try to delight in what God has already accomplished for me through Jesus' blood. Changing my thought pattern in that moment was not in my own doing or strength- on my own, I would’ve left the hospital feeling pretty discouraged. But God graciously reveals sin to us and provides a way out.
When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flames shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
-How Firm a Foundation
Thank you all for praying