The weirdest thing made me cry last night. I was on my way to Walmart and Free Falling by Tom Petty came on the radio. I didn't realize that I had an emotional attachment to the song, and for any of you that know the words, it's not a song that would typically make someone cry. But when I heard it, I just had a flashback to being in the car with Ian. I don't remember where we were going, but this song came on and he just started belting out the words. He loves to sing and Free Falling is one of those songs where it's almost better to just yell the words with tons of dramatic emotion than to just sing it- and Ian is great at that. Every minute with Ian is like this. He is more full of life than anyone that I've ever met. That's what makes this experience that much harder.We don't have as many updates to post as we did back in the ICU or even at Life Care. That is such a blessing, that we don't have to report on any more huge surgeries. But at times it can feel like we have just been waiting- waiting for him to talk, waiting for him to just wake up and tell me how much he missed me while he was gone. I don't want to lose sight of the huge miracles that God has already performed in Ian's recovery. But wow, I think I can speak for the Murphys as well as for myself, that we are learning more and more about patience every day. We are learning what it means to trust in the Lord and wait on Him and His perfect timing.
"Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in you. "
Psalm 33:20-22
I'm so glad that God knows the ending of this story....and that it is perfect for us.
Larissa
5 comments:
Dear Larissa and the Murphys,
The Lord our God blesses you every day with His wondrous presence and His love. He has given you unimaginable grace and faith and patience in this difficult situation which not only sustain you but inspire and uplift everyone who reads your messages. Every time I read your updates, I praise God, I pray for you, and I draw closer to Him. This witness has drawn us closer to the God of the universe. Thank you for giving. I thank God for you.
Love, Jean
Hi Larissa,
I've been praying for Ian, for his family and for you. Your genuineness and God's spirit in you is so evident through this page and your actions, and you and Ian are so lucky to have each other! I'm praying for him :-)
Emily G.
sunflowers374@gmail.com
Calmer of the Storm
When everything is wrong
The day has passed and nothing's done
And the whole world seems against me
When I'm rolling in my bed,
there's a storm in my head
I'm afraid of sinking in despair.
Teach me, Lord to have faith
That what you're bringing me will
Change my life and bring you glory
There on the storm
I am learning to let go
Of the will that I so long to control
There may I be in your arms eternally
I thank you, Lord,
you are the calmer of the storm.
You rebuke the wind and the waves
Once again I find I'm amazed
at the power of your will
Cause I'm a child of little faith
I feel the wind and forget your grace
And you say, "Peace, be still."
Teach me, Lord to have faith
In what you're bringing me will
Change my life and bring you glory
There on the storm
I am learning to let go
Of the will that I so long to control
There may I be in your arms eternally
I thank you, Lord,
you are the calmer of the storm.
And oh when the torrent blows
In the middle of the sea
May I never trust, never trust in me
Cause there in your arms
I find no tragedy.
There on the storm
I am learning to let go
The white wave's high,
it's crashing o'er the deck
And I don't know where to go
Where are you Lord,
is this ship going down?
The mast is gone, so throw the anchor?
Should I jump
and try to swim to land?
There on the storm, teach me,
God, to understand
Of your will
that I just cannot control
There may I see
all your love protecting me
I thank you Lord,
you are the calmer of the storm.
~by Down Here
Larissa,
Many of us may weep at the sound of Tom Petty but most likely because we can remember when he was popular the first time around. I do not mean to make light of your thoughts or tears. It does not seem unusual that normal life stuff would suddenly take you back to a simpler happier time. Those bittersweet memories that bring the torrents of tears are to be treasured and stored up. Today's pain gives evidence to a past joy and the memory though wrenching is good. Happy memories build hope for the future and allow us to cherish the past. Black jelly beans on the right day can still reduce me to a broken child. One of my mom's favorite, she would eat the ones none of the rest of us would touch. Yet, without that memory a part of her would be forgotten. Jelly beans, Tom Petty, certian scents, all God's blessings in our lives to keep the one's we love true nature alive in our hearts and present in our thoughts. I do not mean to insinuate that you could or are forgetting, but the poignancy and sharpnes of Ian's life in yours evidenced in the sweet memory you so humbly share, gives proof of a love so deep so profound that only our sweet Heavenly Father could author.
Thank you for your words.
Glory to God.
Sandy Kimmel
Praying, praying.... for Ian's healing and for you and Ian's family as you wait in faith knowing that our God has you all in the palm of His hand.
Gina Plain (Crossway)
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