Ian was awake today for most of the afternoon. He fell asleep around 5pm, and I never roused him again before I left about an hour later. To see him in that state is draining emotionally. While I have confidence in the kindness, goodness and wisdom of God to do the best thing in his circumstances, I know we're built by God to love and to grieve when the ones we love are taken from us whether by death or departure or, in this case, by a coma. I've discovered first hand that sorrow and grief are draining. But, God lifts me up as the Psalmist says in so many places. "He restores my soul."
I've had a growing sense of satisfaction, lately, about the strength of Ian's faith; it's been consoling. I obviously haven't been able to observe it in Ian, since he can't talk to me. But, as I've had the opportunity to get to know Larissa Whiteley (who has been living with us since the wreck), as I've watched her respond to this very difficult circumstance with faith and as I've read her very meaningful and theologically sound posts on this blog, I'm aware from things she's said to me that Ian had a lot to do with her responses today. Ian had a significant influence on her growth in faith by challenging her attitudes and decisions, teaching her truth, and encouraging her as she pursued God. I know Ian trusts Christ to save him, and I know that he was growing in his faith prior to his wreck. But, observing her faith up close and personal provides me a unique perspective on Ian's faith, a window into his faith that I might not have had. I would have preferred not to peer into that window this way, but it means a lot to me to have the opportunity. Thank you, Larissa. God is good.
We want Ian back. Pray for Ian.