The book of Hebrews has been very meaningful to me lately. The author throughout directs our focus to Christ, the Giver, rather than on things we might seek from Him. In chapter 11, the author tells us that Abraham went out from his own country at God's command, "not knowing where he was going" but “looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God." He never even received what he was promised, but he believed God was faithful to fulfill His promises in whatever way He chose. Sarah, his wife, looked beyond her infertile body and beyond the promised son to the One whom she believed was faithful. Later, Abraham, when told by God to sacrifice their son, believed “God was able even to raise him from the dead.” The heroes of the faith in that chapter all looked beyond any outcome they hoped for to God who was infinitely capable and wise and perfectly faithful.
Ian is still in a coma. The focus of our faith is not on his healing but on the One who is perfectly wise and infinitely powerful and who loved us enough to sacrifice His Son. If Ian remains in a coma, we want to trust Him and to praise Him for the mystery only an infinite God could have. If Ian wakes up (we’re praying fervently that he does), we will praise him for His power to heal and His kindness in sparing him. If Ian takes a turn for the worse, he will go home to be with our Savior, and, though sad, we would want to rejoice with him.
We prayed that Ian would respond to commands yesterday when the medical staff visited him. He didn’t respond. But, we got the news today that he was approved anyway for the treatment we felt he should have. We thought it was critical for Ian to respond yesterday, but our all-wise God knew differently.
Today, we thought he was moving to his new treatment facility, but at the last minute they discovered fluid on his brain. He won’t relocate today, but instead he will have surgery on Friday to install a shunt in his head. My son, Caleb, highlighted the kindness of God in this new development when he noted that God showed the doctors this problem before Ian moved. It’s not what I would have chosen; I’m too impatient to get moving with his therapy. But, God knows what’s right and best.
God is also kind and lavish, so I’m going to continue to ask for a miracle. Regardless of what actually happens, though, I want to look beyond the outcome to the Lord of every outcome who is kind and compassionate and gracious and powerful and mysterious and lavish. I want to trust Him.