Nov 27, 2013

when the holidays hurt

"i just wish i could skip the holidays," she told me, as she dreaded the days that meant more memories flooding to mind. memories of the little red-head life that left too soon. 

i get it. ian gets it. 

because the holidays don't always look like we want them to. or like we think they should.

because some of us are in a house alone thanksgiving morning. some of us don't have a home. some of us have closed wombs and kids with wandering souls and gaping heart wounds and some of us, some millions of us, weren't even given the chance to breathe this year.

some of our holidays don't fit into pinterest-shaped boxes.

some of us, when we get back to work, will be asked how our holiday was and we'll fake a smile and say "great." but it didn't really feel great.

sometimes, holidays hurt. because the pressure of expectations builds and the reality of our lives doesn't change on  a thursday in november or on december 25.

yet, there's that blood. that blood that was wrought to fill us every day. the mercy blood that doesn't skip holidays but is there, available, when we dig in and let it cover us. 

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame;he remembers that we are dust.
psalm 103:11-14

that blood is there, and when we allow ourselves to enter in to it and know that all of this, before and behind, is grace, we can put one foot in front of the other.

we can fight to have hope. and fight to give thanks. and fight to love. because Jesus did it for us.


Anonymous said...

thank you for this. you and your husband inspire me, and I am so thankful I ran across your blog. thank you for all that you do and write.

Meredith said...

Amen. The Lord bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you and give you His peace, today and always.

Thandi said...

God knows...What a powerful reminder. Great scripture to match your sentiments.

Glimpse of crags and clay said...

Ian and Larissa- thanks for the reminder in your post
Read 3 John 2-4 this morning - have a great day- fresh hope for us all.

"Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in every way and [that your body] may keep well, even as [I know] your soul keeps well and prospers.
3 In fact, I greatly rejoiced when [some of] the brethren from time to time arrived and spoke [so highly] of the sincerity and fidelity of your life, as indeed you do live in the Truth [the whole Gospel presents].
4 I have no greater joy than this, to hear that my [spiritual] children are living their lives in the Truth." (Amplified)

Anonymous said...

it's a war out here. But there is pie!

Anonymous said...

So lovely and true. Praise God we are NEVER alone....we just sometimes forget that we're not.
I am truly humbled by such lovely believers as you two.
xx (from England)

amy mccluskie said...

This is just what I needed to hear. Thank you!

Adikool11 said...

You guys are such an inspiration to all who need hope and love, thank you for sharing your personal struggles with your site. May God, the Father of our Lord and Savior continually bless and encourage you guys, to Him be the Glory Forever :)

Anonymous said...

your life is better than of those who seem to have more: safe home, money and health.. You are richer! You have a real loving marriage, and a perfect God. You are blessed! You are rich! Yes, you are..
God give You strenght and wisdom for the time ahead.
God bless you two!

Anonymous said...

Well said Larissa. Gigi and I talked about this the other day. Ps. Can my mom gice me your info to call you? Im working at a magazine now and want them to write about you and ian. Or facebook me

Team Kapen said...

the holidays are hard, but God gave you both a journey that is filled with days that are holly, filled with divine patience, and days filled with unconditional love for one another.

Days like that's are priceless, days like that are filled with pieces of heaven.

God bless you both