Nov 13, 2013

love is


 it's easy to recite the verse, the one that we hear at weddings and memorize in sing-song tones as children.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;  it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

it's easy to hear it, and know it, but to really sink into our bones is different. patience is still sinking in to mine, and nothing has pressed patience into me more than our marriage. because life with a brain injury is slow. and it's  unknown. and it's not clearcut.

which creates a greater void that needs to be filled with patience. which is exactly where i need to be stripped. which is why God gave me to ian.

i needed him to help me learn patience.

like when he doesn't answer me as quickly as i want him to. 

or when i just really want him to be able to walk on his own. (because even in the midst of the excitement of his progress, my heart still sins).

or when we don't yet have what we think we need.

i. i. i. that's what i make it about. the root of my inpatience is my selfishness.

and if someone had been watching, filming, observing my heart and outward acts for the last two days toward my husband, they would not see love that was kind, or un-resentful or patient.

i don't see that in myself.

but i do see my god, hanging on a tree for me, that my impatience might not separate me from him. i see his blood traveling down his body and onto his toes and drip on the ground so that i not be lost in my sin. 

i see his head slumped down by death so that i my face may be lifted up to gaze in His face on the ressurrection day.

this was done for me. and for our marriage.

17 comments:

Laura Noir said...

<3

http://www.joyfilleddays.com said...

This was beautiful. Love is that and so much more and we all need divine grace, supernatural, because we just don't have it on our own.

BriannalovesJared said...

I absolutely loved this post. I related to a lot of what you said. I find my heart and mind not being in the right place often. Patience is a virtue, but such a difficult one to obtain. Thank you for this!

Steve Dalton said...

Larissa, you have a beautiful, loving heart. Thanks for reminding me that my own impatience with life (whether in big things like Diane and trying for seven years and still no children or in small things like a line at the store) is largely rooted in selfishness and forgetting to seek God's will in my life. I admire you so much. You set an example of what love truly is, Larissa!

SA in NYC said...

Your faith is a beautiful thing to read. I recently went to a talk by our priest about what is needed for a successful marriage, and then, like you say, being a great partner takes constant work from ourselves. It's a constant journey of trying to be better. Progress is in the realisation of where we are and where we need to go. I think you are an exemplary example of someone living this ideal.

Thandi said...

Praying for the patience of Job, the humility of Moses, the passion of Ruth and the mildness of Christ.

Kim Yeatts said...

This has been my "go to" song the last few days. It's my reminder of Who's the Center of It!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqoU6V86AkY&app=desktop

Lauren Hooker said...

Beautiful. I am so encouraged by your transparency, because I struggle with patience in my marriage as well. Thank you for the reminder that I, on my own, am not capable of the kind of love described in 1 Corinthians. But because of Jesus' love and sacrifice on the cross, I am forgiven and made new. It is now the Holy Spirit in me that allows me to love patiently and kindly. I love your blog. Thank you for sharing!

stephanie joy said...

Larissa your honesty is beautiful and inspiring. i often find myself glad i'm not being filmed in my darkest moments! ..but humiliated anyway to remember even so there are unseen witnesses. Praise Yah, my God, He is bigger still! We are works in progress!

peace and love to you and Ian.

<3

Amanda Bertha Rauh said...

Hello, sorry my confused english (I'm from Brazil), just wanted to say that you are the couple that inspires me, the couple was able to show what really is marriage. I wish that God would continue putting happiness in your lives

Christine said...

Yes. Amen.

Rachel Hanson said...

When I read your blog, my heart says yes. My husband had a brain stem injury over a year ago when he fell 5 stories. He is finally home but we understand what you do and what your heart goes through on a daily basis. But we both have husbands with unwavering faith in Christ which is such a gift! If you ever want to talk openly to someone who has walked in your shoes, email me at: rockyroad_5_@hotmail.com
Praying for you and Ian,
Rachel

sandy said...

Beautiful Larissa; amazing Ian. God is for us, for you. Covers us. Loves us. Lived for us. Died for us; rose so that we can come broken and be made whole. Just like the corny kids move...we are all in this together....love you little sister.

Linamae Johnson said...

Praying for you and Ian. You guys have touched my heart. This is an evolving testimony. Please know that I spread your story so that others will pray for Ian...and you...and his Mom...and his siblings, family, friends. There is strength in numbers. May God continue to bless and keep you.

Team Kapen said...

the bible says Love is patience, it also says "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love" 1 John 4:8
My prayer is you will continue to get to know God, He will continue to bring you the patience he needs and even when you are impatience, in his kindness he will remind you only he can refill your jars...much love to you!

Anonymous said...

Such a relief ..oh how HE LOVES us♫ (Sung at my church Sunday to help it sink in your post helped Larissa♥ I love you, you are a help to point me to God. I feel so inadequate often. Thsnk you!!!-Leslie Dawn

Anonymous said...

So helpful. Thank you Larisa♥-Leslie Dawn