Aug 29, 2012

How a shoe changes everything

 Spending a few hours in the hospital today has reminded me of some life lessons that I've learned during extended hospital stays. Most light hearted. As Ian and I often say, if we don't laugh, it'll kill us.

Nothing commands attention better than a nice pair of heels. A little trick taught to me by my Aunt Cheryl - doctors and nurses treat you much differently if you don't look like you forgot to get dressed when you got up. Not to mention the sound of the heels down the hallway - you may even be mistaken as the doctor. However, this is most applicable to women and if you're simply escorting a patient. If you're the patient, just stay in your pajamas.

Don't go to the gift store. You're either going to buy something expensive and stupid because you're  so sad, disoriented and sleep deprived or you're going to get really annoyed that the hospital would even think that you wanted to go jewelry shopping at a time like this.

Travel with a toothbrush and toothpaste.

Ask lots of questions. Be annoying, even. Not all hospitals are created equally. And if your gut tells you it's a bad place, it probably is.

Maybe consider not talking to anyone in the waiting room. You may hear have to feign paying attention when you're just trying to figure out when you can sleep next. Not because you're mean, but because you literally can't think anymore. One good trick is to just put your head back and close your eyes immediately after sitting down.

Expect to get lost in the maze of wings, units, wards, floors. If nothing else, follow the smells of the cafeteria, grab coffee and regroup.

If staying in a family house, be prepared to cry. Everyone is there because something is wrong. And a lot of times they aren't going to get better. That might even be you. If not now, maybe someday.

If you're tired from pushing a loved on in a wheelchair, just go to a hospital and make yourself look exhausted. Someone will offer to push the chair for you. Maybe even give them a fake office you're visiting, just to get a break.

If you follow suggestion number one and also push a loved one in a wheelchair, make sure your trip does not involve significant hills. Or you will look really awkward. And then be careful of the elevators. The slots as you step out are the perfect size for a heel to slip down into.


Anonymous said...

I am so with you on this Larissa, having spent so many hours with various health issues with my hubby--you do learn survival of the hospital. I always have my notebook with me, writing down everything as quickly as I can for I know I will forget something that was said. I find I am the one who has to remember so to explain things to my hubby once we have time to do so. Never forget my favortie which drives all doctors crazy, moving to the door when they are getting ready to run, in case I think of one last question. I have found one of my most rewarding questions is, if this were your mother or father, is this exactly what you personally would do. Continuing to pray with and for you and Ian.
Sandi Sherba

Briana Almengor said...

Funny that I've been reading (again) for a while now to stay updated on Ian and you, and this is the post I'm going to comment on.
I was praying for you and Ian today and will continue to pray as you await test results.

I'm completely tracking with you on the dress to be taken seriously thing. I have learned that "trick" myself over the last 8 years of taking my son to his myriad of dr's appts.

Praying for you, too, as you seek to peck out words of life that I think will touch many souls for eternity!

Anonymous said...

Larissa - I so appreciate all your posts. But this but an extra smile to my face today. I work in an ICU and definitely get all of your musings. Thanks for sharing your life and struggles. Praise God Ian's surgery went well! Praying for you both


videojen said...

if you've started drinking coffee, im worried about you. i hope it's for ian. or maybe you mean "coffee" which could be any enjoyable drink. ill go with that.

Leslie Dawn said...

This post shows how all these trials have worked in your life, as this verse says:"By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.~Romans 5:2-5

Anonymous said...

Thanks for making me laugh, Larissa...making people laugh is something you're so good at. Praying for you and Ian, as always! Love you! Maelys