Home

i love what has been our home for the first year. we've made so many wonderful memories.

Eight twenty eight.

I love you larissa. Happy anniversary. Happy birthday dad. I miss you.

Ian.

Life.

Great  start to an anniversary weekend. Slumber party with some of our loves.

while mary is off gallivanting in italy, her family takes care of each other. based on his face, ian couldn't be happier.... :)

the view from a bike

it is much different than riding my car. suddenly things that were unseen are seen and can be smelled and almost felt. like the fragrant apple trees that line the sidewalk that i pass and the family name on the mailbox on that one back road. the house that was converted to have a ramp and a van that looks like ours. the smell of all the neighbors cutting their grass and the woman running the daycare who's life looks really fun but i'm sure still has days of feeling meaningless. i can't see these from my car but they're always there. and i wonder if this seeing is what life would be like to live with gratefulness. colossians 3 says simply "and be thankful." if i'm practicing gratefulness, will my eyes be opened to all that is around me, as they are on my bike rides? will the world somehow become different to me? if so, i need to be within the small "thanks," because the big ones just feel impossible.

thank you for praying for us.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Is god in the wind

i have spent the first year of marriage trying to create a new life for, a happier world for ian. we've tried to learn to love god more, we've surrounded ourselves with beautiful friends, ive worked to decorate our home with loveliness, have spent countless hours with our loving families. we live in a great house that right now is covered by a beautiful breeze and is surrounded by green trees and grass. and it feels right and full and good. but at the end of the day, the home that i want to create for ian is an impossible task. the life that we want to have, free of disabilities and therapy and deficiencies is not up to us at all. and the One who could change it, hasn't.

so i'm left with a great task. to keep digging for contentment, digging, digging and digging.

and as i share my heart with my wonderful husband, his words are "i'm so glad that god gave me a wife." such simple gratefulness. maybe i'll catch up with him someday.

thanks for praying
laris

spending a week at the lake with our lovely family!

when we return home, ian will be starting therapy at a new hospital with new therapists. we're excited to have new eyes and new ideas, and also his new doctor will now be able to oversee his therapy. ian had been in the same therapy routine for four years, so i'm praying that this change will bring great things for him.

it's so easy to get discouraged when ian has sleepy days or days with less communication. being at the lake brings back sad memories of when ian and steve were healthy, but also reminds us of how far that ian has come since his accident. i still have so much to learn about being a good wife to ian and a best friend to him. one of the greatest thoughts that needs to rule in my heart is that god is the author of our marriage, not man, and that god will see us through to the end.

so thankful for vacations and escapes from some of the realities of life. have a happy weekend.

i&l