And they shall be My people, and I will be their God; and I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear Me always, for their own good, and for the good of their children after them. And I will make an everlasting covenant with them that I will not turn away from them, to do them good; and I will put the fear of Me in their hearts so that they will not turn away from Me. And I will rejoice over them to do them good, and I will faithfully plant them in this land with all My heart and with all My soul.
jer. 32: 38-41
hoping to be able to live as if i believe this today.
o death! why dost thou touch the tree beneath whose spreading branches weariness hath rest? Why dost thou snatch away the excellent of the earth, in whom is all our delight? If thou must use thine axe, use it upon the trees which yield no fruit; thou mightest be thanked then. But why wilt thou fell the goodly cedars of Lebanon? O stay thine axe, and spare the righteous. But no, it must not be; death smites the goodliest of our friends; the most generous, the most prayerful, the most holy, the most devoted must die. And why? It is through Jesus' prevailing prayer—"Father, I will that they also, whom Thou hast given Me, be with Me where I am." It is that which bears them on eagle's wings to heaven. Every time a believer mounts from this earth to paradise, it is an answer to Christ's prayer.... Lord, Thou shalt have them. By faith we let them go."
I asked Ian tonight how ready he is for heaven and he said a ten out of ten. When I asked him why, he said because he doesn't want to sin anymore. I can't imagine the pains and stings that Ian's future death will bring, just as we couldn't anticipate them with Steve, but there will be nothing more bittersweet than knowing he is with the Lord. For Ian's sake, I can't wait for him to meet Christ. And I'm glad I get to be with him until then. I often pray that he gets to go first.
Ian said to write whatever I wanted tonight and said he wanted prayer for whatever I think he needs prayer for. I caught on quickly and realized he was brushing it off on me because he's totally distracted by Oprah's soothing voice on the Discovery Channel's premiere of "Life." He's such a loser..
So, since I have to guess, I would ask prayer for Ian's initiation and that he would have a breakthrough here at therapy. We don't have a date of when he will be discharged- he's allowed to stay as long as he's making progress.
Ian continues to get better during his stay at rehab. His initiation is really improving and it's just exciting to see all the things come out that he wasn't able to do before because he was so tired. He is working so, so hard each day and has such a great attitude.
yeah, about the photos...we might as well have fun in the hospital i guess
Feeling exhausted on many levels, I was especially encouraged tonight by Ian's faith. We were reading Psalm 3 and I started asking him what mercy looks like to him. Looking at his life, he would have many temptations to overlook God's examples of mercy on him. But, once again, I was encouraged by his faith. Here's a bulleted list of what Ian said mercy looks like in his life and his thoughts on mercy:
- having a wheelchair for free, because without it I would have to stay in one place
- having a van
- the fact that I have friends
- that i have a fiance
to sum it up, he said "it's wonderful to have His grace and mercy." this coming from a man who is enduring very humbling experiences every single day and is thinking this clearly during a hospital stay.
glad i get to spend my life with him, lord willing
Other than me hating hospitals, things are going ok here. Ian is still really tired but it may take a few days for him to start feeling better. He will have a full week of therapy and hopefully we will see some progress.
This morning Ian was admitted to our local hospital to the Rehab floor. When his doctor saw him on Thursday, she was very concerned with how tired he is. Since being admitted, we think we've determined the cause of his lack of energy and overall just not acting like himself. It will take a few days to correct and after that, if he continues to do well with the in-patient therapy, he can determine how long he stays there.
Please pray that Ian would remember why he is at the hospital and that he would come home better than he is now. Praying that this would give him a kickstart in progress before our wedding.
This spring, two of my friends and I are running a 5k to support brain cancer research. No obligation whatsoever, but I wanted to share the link to offer support. I know that for me, doing this somehow makes me feel like I'm doing something good.