From him comes my salvation

For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken. Ps 62:1-2

No matter what the trouble, this is the prescription: whether it's inner turmoil, an external threat, or an ongoing physical and emotional trial I'm experiencing, my soul must wait in silence for him. No matter what the difficulty, salvation comes from God. My questions and my struggle and my inner turmoil might even be related to his actions, but salvation still comes from him. I have to cling to him as my rock in the storm. I have to hide in him as my fortress in the battle against sin and faithlessness. With him as my rock and my fortress, I shall not be greatly shaken. Though I might be shaken some, I shall not be greatly shaken.

Lord, let Ian recognize the prescription, too. Help him to wait in his silence for you. Help him to daily recognize that salvation comes from you.

Steve

Wednesday

Ian seems to be feeling much better. He went to therapy today and was a little sluggish but was working hard. We had a nice Christmas yesterday- it's wonderful to have him home this year. God was very kind in that Ian felt much better yesterday for opening gifts and all of the other activities.

Thank you for your prayers

Happy Christmas Eve.........

maybe next year Ian will be talking

Stomach Flu

Ian has had the stomach flu all weekend. Pray that he would have relief soon.

"you gave me this breath and you gave me this stength"

I can speak for Mary and say that both of us have been encouraged lately by how hard Ian is working to come back to us. He fights his way through therapy every day and he continues to do what we ask him to do. He ate a lot of food this week. He sat in a real office chair at dinner with us last night. He sat up on his mat for an hour last night without using a bar to balance, so it was all his own strength. He read a sentence that I had written and then did what the sentence said.

Even with these little glimpses that Ian is getting better, this is still a very hard time of year. We're been reminding ourselves though of where we were last year at Christmas. Last year was spent in The Children's Institute so we are greatly blessed to have Ian home with us now.

Thank you for all of your prayers. There may be fewer posts over the next few days, so enjoy your holidays!

Larissa

"Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." (1 Peter 1:13)

Busy day

I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. Ps 57:2

I must confess. I got stuck on this passage when I read it. I struggle not to talk back to God like the faithless one of Romans 5:20 and say (about my own situation and Ian's), "Why have you made me like this?" He fulfills his purpose for me, but I don't like his purpose. I have to remind myself that his purposes behind our circumstances are good somehow. I also have to remind myself again and again that I deserve hell, but I've received mercy. The busy-ness of life has a way of drowning out the voice of mercy that should be loud and unavoidable. We've received circumstances from his hand that, though extremely difficult, are nonetheless something short of the unimaginable. So, I'll "cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his [good] purpose for me."

Ian had a busy day today. Our whole family and Larissa went Christmas shopping in Greensburg. That tired him out, but after he got a nap we got him up to go to a caregroup Christmas party. He was VERY tired, but it's good for him to be with family and friends.

Thank you for your prayers.

Steve

He owns everything

If I were hungry, I would not tell you, for the world and its fullness are mine. Ps 50:12

I regularly have to remind myself of truths like this. The Lord owns everything: food, clothing, me, you, Ian, health...everything. It's humbling on the one hand; I don't own or control anything really. God does. I'm completely dependent on Him even for food. But, that's comforting, too. The One who is good holds all things in the palm of His hand. It doesn't seem that way with Ian in the state he's in, but I know it's true. Scripture declares it. My experience up to now confirms it. Nothing has changed.

Ian has been eating more by mouth lately. Mary feeds him a whole variety of things from pudding to Ramen noodles. It used to be she could only give him things the consistency of honey but no more. It's awkward for him, but he tastes much of what we have for dinner. It's certainly not a full meal at each sitting, but it's more than what it used to be. He's making very, very slow progress.

Thank you for praying.

Steve

As a follow-up to my last post about prayer:

Ian and I have been reading through the Psalms together and using a James Montgomery Boice commentary. Psalm 5 starts with the following:

Give ear to my words, O LORD;
consider my groaning.
Give attention to the sound of my cry,
my King and my God,
for to you do I pray.

Boice says this stanza teaches us the spirit in which we should pray. With urgency, persistency and an expectant spirit. "George Mueller, the founder of the great faith orphanages in England in the nineteenth century, saw great answers to prayer even though some of the answers were delayed. When he was quite young he began to pray for two of his friends. He prayed for them every day for more than sixty years. One was converted just before Mueller's death at what was probably the last preaching service Mueller held. The other was converted within a year of Mueller's passing. Clearly we ought always to pray and not give up."

Again, we do not know the Lord's will. But we do know that we are to pray.

Thank you, always.

Prayer

"Do not leave the throne of grace until all your wants have been spread before the Lord and until by faith you are confident that they will all be supplied."

Spurgeon

Ask and it will be given to you. That's what the Bible says to do. But to pray in accordance to God's word. To pray for that which is good. Praying for patience. Praying for provision. Praying for comfort. Praying for healing. Healing is a good thing that God does for us in His mercy. Jesus didn't have to heal people while he was on earth, but he did.

Praying for this healing doesn't mean God has to give it to us. If healing was what Ian was supposed to receive, God would've done it. But for whatever reasons, God has chosen to withold that from us- either temporarily or "permanently." Maybe tomorrow he'll be healed, maybe in ten years he'll be the same that he is now.

Still, it is good to pray. So thank you to all who have done that alongside us for one year, two months, and six days. What a comfort to know that even since the first day at the hospital, when we are too weak to pray, someone else is pleading on Ian's behalf.

Larissa

Refuge

Let the righteous one rejoice in the LORD
and take refuge in him!
Let all the upright in heart exult!
Psalm 64

Ian is my hero. He is persevering through a trial that none of us can understand or imagine. The Holy Spirit is at work in him, and it is evident in the fact that Ian continues to fight to come back to us. He has not given up. He has not resigned himself to weariness or defeat. I don't know what's going on in his heart, but I do see him every day working hard at therapy, working hard to do all of the things that we ask him to do.

That God can minister to him now is a daily reminder of how infinite God is. He is not limited by anything. God is still at work in Ian, making him more like Christ. Inside there somewhere, Ian is still the same man of God that he was last November- but an even better version.

God is also using Ian as an example of how much all of us are at God's mercy, but also at His protection. Ian has no say in his daily routine, he can't get up and leave a situation he isn't enjoying, he doesn't have control over anything that he does. He has no defense. Yet God is his defender and his refuge. We are all this much at God's mercy and this much in need of His refuge- it's just more obvious with Ian. I'm trying to talk this to myself because everything in me desperately wants to see Ian taking care of himself and back in control of his own life....

I'm clinging to the promises that God is Ian's refuge

Thank you for praying

"I shall not fear any harm
With your powerful arms around me"

Larissa

Someday

Ian just had speech therapy at the hospital today and I didn't really hear a report on how it went. This afternoon, I spent some time with him working on writing on a dry-erase board. At first he didn't want anything to do with it, but then he finally started holding the marker. He held it for awhile and for probably 20 minutes we worked on him touching the marker to the board and just making some scribbles. It was so fun to see him holding the marker (he's going to be ambidextrous now because he's using his left hand- by the way I have no idea how to spell "ambidextrous") and he really did an awesome job at moving the marker around on the board. He attempted to draw a circle after I showed him how. I was holding his hand that held the pen and was writing some words so he could become familiar with the movement of writing. I've been thinking lately how wonderful it would be if he could write to us. We know he can read, so even though it may be a lofty goal, I want him to write too.

Thank you always for praying. As we've been saying for awhile, he's in there. We just have to help him learn how to get out.

Larisa