Do not lean on your own understanding

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil." Proverbs 3:5-7

Ian sang this verse on one of the Hide the Word cds, and I was listening to it a couple days ago. The verse, the tune and Ian's voice have stayed with me since then. Ian, through God's Word sung, was instructing me about his situation. I can't lean on my own understanding, trying to figure out why this happened or trying to figure out how to get him back. If I did that I might be tempted to lose hope. But, God is faithful, and my responsibility is to trust in Him with all my heart. So, we take the next step - whatever that is - trusting that the Lord is leading us and doing what's right for his own glory and for Ian's good.

Ian left me speechless today. I had heard from others (and probably even reported) that Ian would shake his head to tell us 'no', but I had never seen him do it. I asked him tonight if he wanted a pillow behind his head, and he very clearly shook his head 'no'. It was so obvious and so took me by surprise I think I moved away from him suddenly for just a moment.

Thank you for your faithful prayers. Pray that he would talk to us with his voice.

Steve

The other day, Ian's friend David was telling him about the first week in the hospital after the accident. David was recalling how close Ian was to death, how much we were praying for him, and how God saved him from passing away. He was reminding Ian of the good parts of those first few days, like all the love we were shown from our friends, and the difficult times, like how worried we were about him. As David was telling him this, Ian reached up from his bed and put his hand on David's shoulder.

Knowing Ian (and the God who cares for him), I can be certain that Ian is thankful for all that God has done for and through him. Although this situation must be hardest for Ian, I can tell he appreciates the love everyone has been showing him. If Ian were able to speak, I'm sure he would thank you more enthusiatically than anyone else would.

Thank you for praying and serving Ian. Really.

-Ben

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed." 1 Peter 4:12-13

On my way home from work today, I got stuck in a huge thunderstorm. It was one of those storms that left huge puddles in the road and my car kept getting pulled into the puddles. I was pretty nervous driving through the storm- my wipers were going as fast as they could and it still wasn't keeping my windshield clear.

But all of a sudden it was like I passed through a door into blue skies. It was such a relief. I don't think that I'd realized how much I wanted to be out of that storm until I actually was out of it. I was driving away from the storm too, so for the rest of my drive home I could see the dark clouds from my rearview mirror and only clear skies in front of me.

That simple thunderstorm made me think of this trial. During this "storm" I'm tempted to fear, or to become anxious, and just want to be out of it. But just as God safely lead me out of the thunderstorm, He will safely lead us out of this trial. And when this trial is over, I will feel like we can let out our breath for the first time since Sept. 30. While we are guaranteed to have more times of adversity there will also be more times of prosperity and plenty of times away from the storms that we face now. And even if we don't see the end of this trial in this world, meeting Jesus' will be that much sweeter.

Thank you for praying for Ian....

Larissa

"Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

my salvation and my God."

Ian sat in a "normal" chair tonight- a wing back chair that we've had in his room. He did really well. It was his first time in nine months not sitting or laying in something weird like a wheelchair or a hospital bed. He wasn't supported by any straps and he was able to put his feet on the ground. That must've felt so good for him.

We noticed however that Ian seemed to be having a challenging day. He gave me two long, deliberate blinks tonight when I asked him if he was discouraged. We don't know what he's discouraged about or if he definitely is discouraged. His therapists tonight suggested that as he becomes more awake, he will become more aware of his current disabilities- what a challenging thought that is. I don't know what all he is able to process and understand or how aware he is of his condition. But he knows who we are, he knows how to hold our hands, he knows how to swallow food- he must be aware that his body is not doing what it used to do. I can't imagine not being able to do the simplest things for nine months. I think about how limited he is physically and I can understand why he might feel discouraged. What makes this more challenging is that it is not Ian's character at all to be heavily discouraged by anything. I remember asking him if he wanted to be healed and he said "yes"- he knows that he needs God to heal him.

Only the Lord can encourage Ian. And we are blessed in that Ian is an object of God's love and mercy, not His wrath. We do not know his specific struggles or needs. And even if we did, we could not satisfy those needs. But the Lord does. This all is for the Lord's glory and this, this little trial that we face in our thoughts tonight is working for us a greater good and is sanctifying Ian. For Ian to have one glimpse of the Lord's face tonight would would bless him in a way that none of us could fathom.

Please join us in praying that Ian would deeply experience the Lord's presence and encouragement tonight. Ian lies tonight in his bed at the foot of the cross, at the mercy of our Lord, in the hands of our savior.

Larissa

The other day I was singing some hymns and playing guitar next to Ian's chair. While I was singing the hymn In Chirst Alone, Ian slowly lifted his arm in the air; it was strikingly clear he was worshiping God. In our church, raising your hands is a common expression of praise to God, something Ian did frequently prior to the accident. Even though he couldn't sing along, I could tell he was joining with me in worship to God.

Let this encourage us that God has not forgotten Ian! God has given Ian a reason to worship him.

-Ben


In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

Pudding

Those of us who know Ian know that he can sing well, and he has sung on Mark's scripture song series called, Hide the Word. I was listening to this Scripture put to song (2 Cor 4:17-18): "For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." Ian sang that song. I hope today that he remembers that Scripture and is being comforted by it. This "slight momentary affliction" he's experiencing is preparing something incredible for the future.

He was eating pudding tonight. He was cleared to start eating things with the consistency of honey or liquids thickened to that consistency, so tonight he got pudding. There's a delay before he swallows, but we've been told that the delay is to be expected. It's fairly typical for someone in his condition. Improvement for him will include a quicker response time in his swallowing, but he's improved to this point already where he's actually swallowing. He wasn't even doing that before.

Someone asked about his "rating" on the coma scale. Just to be clear, he is still in a coma. The scales are used just for discussion and provide a framework for treatment, but giving him another rating on the scale isn't like graduating him from first grade to second grade. There just isn't a clear break like that, and it's a matter of opinion as to where he falls on the scale. And, at this point, we're less concerned about his place on the scale and more concerned with evidence of progress. That's why we talk less now about his place on the scale.

Thank you for praying for Ian.

Steve

Today was a busy but good day for Ian. He was able to go to Youth Camp tonight, a camp put on by our church that Ian has gone to since he was 12. He was pretty responsive at certain times throughout the night. It just seems right to take him places like we did tonight where he hears worship and messages. It's sure to be encouraging for him and honoring to God. He communicated to me tonight just before he fell asleep that he was glad he went and it was all very familiar to him.

God continues to answer our prayers. We have been praying that Ian would respond to his therapists so that we would get more therapy visits, and he did exactly that yesterday when he held my hand.

Val L- You get a special shout-out tonight. Ian had a modified barium swallow done today and he did really well. He swallowed when he was supposed to and everything. They said he could start having thickened liquids orally so today he had some coffee. I can't wait to hear from Ian what his memories of his sessions with you are....I'm thinking they'll be pretty hilarious:) we miss you tons Val!

"When we reach heaven, there will be no sanctifying us there, no squaring us with affliction, no planing us with suffering. No, we must be made ready here—all that Christ will do he will do now; and when he has done it, we shall be ferried by a loving hand across the stream of death, and brought to the heavenly Jerusalem, to abide as eternal pillars in the temple of our Lord."

Spurgeon

High five?!?

Psalm 84:5 struck me today: "Blessed are those whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion." As we face another day with Ian in a coma, I need to remember where my strength for the next moment comes from. There should be a highway in my heart that sends trust and praise to God and recognizes and receives care and strength from God. Moment by moment, Lord, help me to trust you and praise you. Send continual strength from your throne.

Ian was with a therapist today who was trying to get him to give a high five. To the therapist's disappointment, Ian wouldn't do it. Later, as I recounted this story it occurred to me he wouldn't have done that before wreck; it's highly unlikely he would do it now. Larissa asked him, then, to hold her hand. Ian did that. She asked him to do it again. He did it again. The therapist chimed in and said that if he did it again that would be a sign of consistency (something everyone has been looking for from the beginning). Larissa asked him to hold her hand again. Again, he reached out his hand took hers. He's slowly making progress.

He continues to have back pain. Please pray. It keeps him from doing things we think that he could do.

Thank you for your prayers.

Steve

We are noticing more and more that when Ian is awake, he is awake. He has been communicating with us very effectively lately and he was nodding for the therapists again tonight. Also, his ability to sit on the edge of the bed is improving so much. Tonight it took him about five seconds to figure out how to balance himself. He was using his feet a lot to balance and he was holding our hands for support too- which is a good thing that he can figure that out. Steve pointed out that the way Ian was sitting, it looked like he was trying to figure out how to stand up. So I asked Ian if he was trying to figure out how to stand, and he gave me a long blink for "yes." God will get us there.

I was reminding Ian today of all the surgeries that he didn't have to go through because of God's miracles. He never had to have the very dangerous and complicated surgery on his neck. He didn't have to have the also long and complicated surgery on his knee. God healed him of diabetes insipidus, allowed him to learn how to breathe on his own and even allowed him to simply open his eyes again. I remember in Presby the first report we heard of Ian opening his eyes- God has delivered Ian from much so far and will continue to deliver him.

In light of all that God has healed in Ian's body and all of the prayers that He has answered, we want to continue to ask specific prayers and have faith that God will answer. Ian has been having a lot of back and neck pain over the last few days- probably a result of the impact of the accident. While it is a great thing that he is even able to feel pain like that now, we don't actually want him to be in pain. Please pray that God would heal any discomfort in his back and neck and that Ian could communicate to us when he is in pain and that we would somehow be able to help ease him of that.

"Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, "Rulers of the people and elders, if we are being examined today concerning a good deed done to a crippled man, by what means this man has been healed, let it be known to all of you and to all the people of Israel that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead--by him this man is standing before you well. This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.

"Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus. But seeing the man who was healed standing beside them, they had nothing to say in opposition. "

Acts 4:8-14

Thank you for praying with us

Laris

Lately...

The last few days Ian has been identifying different parts of his body at the request of various therapists. "Ian, point to your hair. Point to your mouth. Point to your hair." He's done it successfully on several occasions, but the therapists have also reminded us that consistency is the key to serious progress. But, it's progress.

Thank you for all your encouragement on the blog. It's pretty overwhelming to see how many are praying for Ian. I read a bunch of your comments to Ian. There are so many I have to do it in groups.

Steve

Thank you everyone who responded to my post last night. While I'm writing this, there are exactly 300 comments- that's incredible. And I know that's not a full list of everyone who is praying. Ian would gladly lay down his life so that any of us could learn more about our Savior. That's what's happening now and these comments are an example to me of that.

Thank you all

Laris

I was thinking today that it would be really cool to be able to read to Ian a list of the people who are reading this blog and praying for him. So, if you read the blog and pray for Ian, leave a comment on this post with your name and where you're from. I think it would be very encouraging for him as well as for us.

Thank you again for praying.

Larissa

Hold out for heaven

1 Peter 1:3-7 According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope
through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, as was necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire – may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

I long for heaven. There the good that I'll experience is not temporary or fleeting or fading or tainted by trials. Here on earth, any good is temporary. Car wrecks taint life. Things are taken away from us. We don't always experience things we would prefer. My emotional investment and the focus of my faith can't be the things of this life, but my hope has to be in that imperishable inheritance that's kept in heaven for me. So many dreams and things and relationships throw me off and distract my longing for heaven. I need to hold out for what's best; I need to hold out for heaven.


Ian had a lazy day today. He wasn't very alert and was tired most of the day. We were told at the Children's Institute that his recovery process would include days like this along with the active days. He slept a lot, and that's good. He's recovering.


Thank you for praying.


Steve

Noah

The Lord shut him in.

Genesis 7:16

"Noah was so shut in that no evil could reach him. Floods did but lift him heavenward, and winds did but waft him on his way. Outside of the ark all was ruin, but inside all was rest and peace. Without Christ we perish, but in Christ Jesus there is perfect safety. Noah was so shut in that he could not even desire to come out, and those who are in Christ Jesus are in him forever."


My good friend shared this devotion from Spurgeon with me and how it made her think of Ian. What she shared was such good truth to line up against my fears in this situation.

I have no idea what kind of place Ian is in right now, but the Lord has shut him in there in divine love and has shut Himself in there with Ian. Ian has expressed to us several times that he can feel God's presence, showing us that his accident, in comparison to Noah's flood, "did but lift him heavenward." In Christ, there is rest and peace and there is perfect safety. To be experiencing this communion with the Lord is far better for Ian than to be back here with us. While we will continue to pray that he would return to us and continue to believe that it would be a good thing for him to be completely healed, there is sweet comfort knowing who he's with in the meantime.


Ian has been nodding his head a lot for us today to communicate "yes." We continue to see great steps like this leading us back to our Ian.


Thank you for praying.

Larissa

Different drugs

Ian has been on a different "wake up" drug for the last couple of days. We've noticed a big difference in the amount of sleep he gets now. I'm wondering if it's the adjustment to a new medication.

He's been swallowing more lately and doing it more quickly after being asked to swallow. That's a good thing...like sit-ups for the tongue.

Thank you for praying...I know so many are.

Steve

Sitting

Ian had a good and busy day today. Heather reported that he responded well to her. Today he was outside with Lydia and he was kicking a ball with her while he was in his chair. I got to go out with him again tonight and we watched a huge thunderstorm from St. Bernard's Church, which is on a big hill overlooking Indiana. And then after he got home we sat him up on the edge of his bed again. He did such a great job and we could tell that he was concentrating so hard on what he was doing. It's a good thing that he's so stubborn because it's really paying off now:)

Seeing Ian sitting up is so encouraging. We remember his sessions at Children's when he could barely hold his head up and it took two people to hold him up. Now he's figuring out how to sit up on his own. God is healing him so much. I want to be quick to look back at where we were, because it reminds me of how far God has brought us.

"A sick saint is often used by God far more than the most eloquent preacher...let true religion be your life and then your life will be true religion...You, who can do no more than simply sit at Jesus' feet and listen to His words will not be neglected or overlooked."

Beside Still Waters, Spurgeon

Sitting up

We moved Ian from his back on his bed to a sitting position on the edge of his bed tonight with his feet flat on the floor. We had done that once before to try it. Tonight, while he was sitting with us holding him up, he worked really hard trying to get his balance. We coached him to use his feet and legs to steady himself both with his forward/back position and his side to side position. At one point he held himself for about 30 seconds while we were close by. Thank you, Lord!

What a strange thing to think about learning to balance yourself all over again.

Pray for grace for Ian to keep trying hard. Thanks.

Steve

"Ian, give me a long blink if you're ready to be healed."


He gave me a nice, long blink. That's encouragement for me to keep praying hard.

Trying hard

As I've thought back to those last days and weeks in the Children's Institute, I've realized how far Ian has come. He's very alert. He cooperates most of the time with those who try to work with him. He tracks us now. He communicates afirmative answers through a long blink. He seems to know what's happening around him. He seems to want to work hard. He's swallowing. These all sound minor, but compared to those last days in the hospital he's come a long way. Bringing him home was definitely the best course of action. I don't know what's around the bend, but I trust God.

Psalm 46 says, "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling." I wonder if a primitive Jew like the writer of this psalm could have imagined many other things more frightening than the mountains heaving up and sliding into the sea. Yet, the writer puts his confidence in the One who controls all things including the mountains and the sea. Though I don't know exactly what's around the bend, God is my refuge and strength.

Thank you for your continuing prayers. They have accomplished much.

Steve

"Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light"

Ian has been sleeping a lot for the past eight months. But God has been his light in his sleep as well as in his waking hours. The Lord is still His light and his salvation, so whom shall he fear? The Lord is the stronghold of his life, of whom shall he be afraid?

We spent some time worshipping with Ian tonight and he seemed very relaxed during our time with him.

Thank you for praying.

Larissa

Ian would always challenge me with the question "what are you believing about God right now?" What better way to get at the root of sin. I confess that I have been allowing myself to believe untrue thoughts about God lately- thoughts of unbelief and thoughts lacking faith in God's ability to heal Ian. What a constant battle, every waking hour, to remind myself of the sovereignty of God. But that's how it is with all sin. We have to constantly battle with ourselves to fight the very impulses that try to rule us. (Romans 7:15-20) How this battle shows me though what a debtor to mercy I am. Every step that I take is filled with God's grace and as I live, I become more and more indebted to His mercy.

God has shown much mercy on Ian in the past eight months. Over the past few days, he has given us many signs that he's with us. He is reaching out for our hands, he pulled my arm around his neck so I would be hugging him, he holds Lydia when she is sitting on his lap. It seems like daily he is showing us how much he cares for us, which is very, very sweet.

"This is God's universal purpose for all Christian suffering: more contentment in God and less satisfaction in self and the world. I have never heard anyone say, 'The really deep lessons of life have come through times of ease and comfort.' But I have heard strong saints say, 'Every significant advance I have ever made in grasping the depths of God's love and growing deep with Him has come through suffering."

-John Piper

Thank you all for praying...

Larissa

There is a season

I prefer the spring. The leaves are coming out, and the birds are coming back. It's usually not too hot, and it's not too cold. Unfortunately, though, I can't have spring all the time. Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes that "for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." Following this statement, there are a series of pairs, one of which is positive and the other negative. In chapter 3:4, for example, he says that there is "a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance." In every case, I'd prefer one over the other, but "the Preacher" tells me that there is a time for every matter under heaven. He gives spring, and he gives winter. There is a time to weep, and there is a time to laugh. I only want the "good" stuff, but he also gives me the "bad" stuff. In verse 14, he writes, "God has done it, so that people fear before him." In other words, God has ordered things this way, so we would recognize whose world this really is and where we fit into it. My responsibility is to gratefully submit to his will no matter what season it is knowing that he could have given me an eternity of something worse than winter. Because of Christ's work for me and for Ian, though, the best season is still to come.

Yesterday, when Lydia got up from her nap, she wasn't very cheerful, and Ian reached out his hand and put it on her back as if to comfort her. He still doesn't talk to us, though. It's very confusing.

Please pray for continuing wisdom for us and all the therapists who visit Ian and all those who care for Ian. Pray for Ian.

Steve